Crapmatthewsays

[Crapmatthewsays @sosaidmatthew]

Success! I've finally cloned myself. Brace yourself world. #twoisbetterthanone #crapmatthewsays

[Crapmatthewsays @sosaidmatthew]

argh, I forgot to let the wine breathe! #crapmatthewsays

[Crapmatthewsays @sosaidmatthew]

Oh dear.... https://t.co/DvTTlOJpH3

[Kate Guest @RomansRock]

"And I had a shower earlier!" @sosaidmatthew #crapmatthewsays

[Crapmatthewsays @sosaidmatthew]

Oh drat, I forgot to put the prosecco in the fridge. #crapmatthewsays

[Crapmatthewsays @sosaidmatthew]

The last time I went swimming I broke my watch and caught a cold. #crapmatthewsays

[Crapmatthewsays @sosaidmatthew]

Have I finished my jerk? #crapmatthewsays #kitchendrama

[Crapmatthewsays @sosaidmatthew]

I saw a girl with a tail yesterday. #crapmatthewsays

[Crapmatthewsays @sosaidmatthew]

Ohhhh. My cracker has split in half.