king shit of citation mountain

(they/he) | genderqueer butchfag, shitposter extraordinaire

[king shit of citation mountain @soybeanbroad]

adding this to my resume

[Lusty 🧩 @SubmitToLust]

"18 likes isn't a lot" imagine 18 naked cowboys in the showers at ram ranch big hard throbbing cocks wanting to be sucked

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

it's feel weird friday

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

every news headline now is like Blueberries Will Kill You. Measles Is Back. Gas Costs Six Dollars. Gwyneth Paltrow Is Selling AI Drone Technology. You Are Being Watched. Three Billion More To Israel. like idk did we do it did we make america great again

[clifford carmichael @former_gcup]

It’s Have Insane Dreams August are you having insane dreams

[Buck @Buck36043Buck]

I was the first Baby to Ever speak Just 1 Minute after Being Born and I said “Please Kill me”

[Flesh Prison Enjoyer @_theFleshPrince]

The shadow government is sending me coded messages through seemingly banal conversations with grocery store cashiers

[Chloe Alivia @chloealivia29]

You can’t even be sold to One Direction anymore. Because of woke

[零号病人 @tall_pale]

Israel is paying people to drive slow in the left lane

[Frankie 📎 Fey @frankiefey]

they should invent a thought that isn’t obsessive or compulsive

[Noah @noah_bino]

Spent 3 weeks building a texting app slower than email. Messages fly at pigeon speed — LA to NYC takes 22 hrs. Sometimes the bird dies & the message isn’t delivered.

[Lala the Unhinged ✍🏽🕷🖤🎀 @msliquorice]

the youth seek friendship

[55 @kamiljr49]

"you're so sensitive" i was never fully allowed to express my emotions as a child because when i did i would get yelled or made fun of

[vicky bollywood @victim_burn77]

I don’t know the origin of piggy banks but I like to assume it was a rural Polish superstition to exploit kosher law to protect your change from Jews

[baby jane 🍓 @janedazey]

jack from lost could run the pitt like the navy but dr robby could NEVER handle the stress of leading a ragtag group of survivors on a magical evil island and making all the decisions and breaking every bone in his body to keep them alive while they all yell at him

[Luke @mothrasattorney]

They buried Dobby on the beach that makes you old on the one night of the year you can have pre-marital sex

[Cedar You @our_decay]

I don’t need an internet quiz to tell me I’m attracted to white women who look like they have a postgraduate degree of dubious pecuniary value in the humanities

[Grace @gracecamille_]

my friend Taylor had this poster and we would take turns with it in the closet in a 7 Minutes in Heaven way. Only she was allowed to kiss large Legolas and one time she burst in and caught me kissing large Legolas and she beat the shit out of me and my mom had to pick me up

[Gram Smoker’s Dracula @chilledspectre]

everything makes me exhausted because i was supposed to meet my demise from a terrible fever at the age of 9

[refriedbuttsects @refriedbuttsect]

if you’re unemployed you’re legally required to start running in the direction of the amber alert

[hungry chiikawa of bachisigtwt 🕶Σ @bachishigu]

Which way non-passing trans man