certified homie hopper

i love billy strings 🦖

[kodi @dakotakocken]

me, drunk: what are the odds I buy something on depop tonight
sydney, not as drunk at me: no. download tinder instead”
me, drunk: you can’t buy boys
sydney, not as drinknas me: prostitution

[certified homie hopper @soydnoy]

i take it back twitter is Not For Me

[certified homie hopper @soydnoy]

@gavinm2jd and what about it🤨

[certified homie hopper @soydnoy]

i am completely immune to the snapchat discover page until i see a cooking video i could watch those shits for HOURS

[certified homie hopper @soydnoy]

locked my door & creamed my jeans tbh

[certified homie hopper @soydnoy]

we out this bitch 😫💦

[certified homie hopper @soydnoy]

@gavinm2jd @serenwah your opinion means nothing to me also i do take it back ice spice is lovely

[certified homie hopper @soydnoy]

i don’t keep up with celebrities and i love it bc like who the fuck is ice spice and i just heard that simon cowells face is fucked up and my life has not changed whatsoever

[certified homie hopper @soydnoy]

@serenwah well at least drunk sydney is more with it than sober sydney

[certified homie hopper @soydnoy]

like i figured out how to style my bangs and i start college in 4 days you cannot tell me SHIT

[certified homie hopper @soydnoy]

i am going to become such a delightful fucking problem

[certified homie hopper @soydnoy]

every single man on this entire earth can fucking choke. no exceptions fuck you

[certified homie hopper @soydnoy]

t-minus 5 days until i stop living out a suitcase

[certified homie hopper @soydnoy]

anything i say on this app past this point is @ktjmcavoy’s or @dakotakocken’s fault i take no responsibilities for my actions

[certified homie hopper @soydnoy]

@ktjmcavoy kt told me to help but kodi is an unstoppable force she is committed to the bit she is ruthless and cruel and unkind i am merely a mite compared to her goliath of being a bitch

[kodi @dakotakocken]

I love jane austen so much

[Frank Ocean Updates @blahnded]

FRANK OCEAN JUST UPDATED HIS SPOTIFY BANNER

[certified homie hopper @soydnoy]

fuck ur stewie impression show me ur david attenborough impression

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

You are living in a simulation and the creature running the simulation has become an alcoholic.

[certified homie hopper @soydnoy]

and on the 5th day god said: "sydney will find a fireball shot on the side of the road"