Simon Paynter

Agile type guy

[Simon Paynter @sp303]

@UberUKI_Support can you help, we’re being charged a monthly fee on someone else’s account. It’s impossible to stop it via your support mechanism.

[Shit Lawns @Shitlawns]

5 more days to get this petition the response from Government that it requires. Sign and Share.... Or allow gardens like this to push Sparrows, Hedgehogs, Bees, Butterflies and countless others to extinction https://t.co/gbUZCveIX1

[DESIGN THINKING! Comic @DT_comic]

A short guide to Design & Development methodologies

A thread 🧵

[BABY M @maiyajambalaya]

there are tears in my eyes LMFAOOOOOOOOOO

[Simon Paynter @sp303]

@geoffcwatts To issue a reminder to myself to feel less angst about the other arduous tasks that I’ve been putting off for whatever reasons.

[Quite Interesting @qikipedia]

After an office in Georgia banned emails on Fridays, forcing colleagues to speak to each other, one employee discovered a co-worker he emailed regularly was not across the country, but in fact working on the same floor as him.

[Susanne Husebø @susannehusebo]

I’ve worked with lots of agile #teams, and some of the symptoms of a well functioning high-perfoming teams that I see are:

👇

[Paul Goddard @PaulKGoddard]

Individuals and interactions over processes and JIRA 😡🤬#ffs #agilemanifesto2018

[Bart Owl ☀️ @bart_owl]

Remember when they let the British public decide on the name of a boat? And the result was disregarded because they felt the public's decision was too silly to follow through on?

That was just the name of a boat.

[Nigel Baker @nigelebaker]

If in 2003 you had travelled back in time and told me Agile was about JIRA and SAFe, I would have stayed doing what I was doing before.

Or I may have stolen your time machine and used it to travel though time and space fighting evil pepperpots. #agile #scrum

[Nigel Baker @nigelebaker]

Enterprise JIRA coach.

[Rich Rogers @RichRogers_]

The challenge with adding more engineers to a project. Just moving from 3 developers to 4 doubles the number of lines of communication.

[Quite Interesting @qikipedia]

70% of people take twice as long to turn off a robot if it tells them it’s scared of the dark or begs them not to do it. The other 30% won’t be able to bring themselves to turn it off at all. (https://t.co/Fr5l4Sy9C2)

[Daniel Maier @danielmaier]

Man on phone on this train has already racked up “Your good self?” and “hey ho.” Just needs a “for my sins” now and his work is done.

[Brad Sams @bdsams]

AI has peaked.

[Quite Interesting @qikipedia]

Word of the day: MUMPSIMUS – Someone who obstinately sticks to old ways or ideas in spite of all the evidence showing that they're wrong.

[James Melville 🚜 @JamesMelville]

No deal Brexit:
2,800,000 fewer jobs
£158bn loss per year

Trade agreement Brexit (outside the single market):
1,750,000 fewer jobs
£99bn loss per year

Soft Brexit (EEA & single market):
700,000 fewer jobs
£39bn loss per year

Remain in EU:
No impact on jobs
No £ loss per year

[Duke Max “Carnival Lawyer” Ash @mynameisntdave]

ME: honey, it's really muggy out today
WIFE: if I go outside & all our mugs are on the front lawn, I'm leaving u
ME: *sips coffee from bowl*

[Dave Gray @davegray]

Google discovered that giving every employee a credit card and trusting them to follow policy on expenses, even with some bad actors, was cheaper than the enforcement and structures most companies use.

How much do you waste due to low trust? Can you do the math for your company?