Spades Slick

You rabble all need to buy your own coffins when I’m done around here.
//bigotry is unacceptable
//not affiliated with Homestuck/MSPA/AH

[Spades Slick @sp4desSlick]

>Reader: Be Spades Slick

You are now SPADES SLICK.

You are the ex-leader of the Midnight Crew (now deceased), an expert knife wielder and solver of all problems that can be dealt with using bullets or blades.

You get the feeling this place could use a new leader.

[Spades Slick @sp4desSlick]

Slick, you are going to die. That’s a character inspired by RWBY, who has a gun. Guns? At least some kind of deadly weapon. I’m not sure, but I know you aren’t going to be holding your own for long.

[Spades Slick @sp4desSlick]

You say that you are very proud of your joke and that you would like to have a calm and polite conversation. This of course is not spoken directly but is implied by your raising of the Cast-Iron Horse-Hitcher which you fully intend to use to give this person a mean drubbing.

=>

[The Soldier and The Berries @RedSlashingHood]

🍷: “OH, REAL FUCKING FUNNY! BRING IT, JACKASS!”

[Spades Slick @sp4desSlick]

//on a serious note though, be kind to people’s identities and character’s, showing you care is a small act, but an important one for showing respect and care for those around you.

[Spades Slick @sp4desSlick]

You decide to-

Slick, this is the worst apology I have ever seen.

//Art by @RedMilesForever //

[The Soldier and The Berries @RedSlashingHood]

//This just in, @sp4desSlick misgendered @NoirButFem.

His execution will be streamed on live television for his crimes.

[The Soldier and The Berries @RedSlashingHood]

//I’m so happy I suggested the fucking Ukulele apology. 😭

[Spades Slick @sp4desSlick]

@RedSlashingHood @NoirButFem You profusely apologize for your mistake. A dame like her deserves nothing but respect.
That being… you. You are that dame. Confusing, huh Slick?
Be better next time.

[Spades Slick @sp4desSlick]

@Chosen_arbitor Hm…

You consider it.

[Spades Slick @sp4desSlick]

@Tac9_Dropkick > SS: politely explain yourself

You tell that cat to mind their own business. You then decide to keep rambling about how annoying it is to hear about it. Slick. Slick stop it, there’s not enough room to transcribe all of that.

[Spades Slick @sp4desSlick]

@G1mmeABr3ak > SS: express your annoyance

You have a number of words directed towards this situation, but for the sake of brevity you decide to grumble them out while you deal with the box. The time and total character count saved by doing this is immeasurable.

[Spades Slick @sp4desSlick]

@N0ximili3n Seems like a terrible game.
Count me in.

[Rose LaLonde @DaBigKofA]

Oh well. A jack of all spades can pull through.

[ SPADES SLICK TAKEOVER ]

[Spades Slick @sp4desSlick]

Okay, you say. You kindly tell your other self- woah, Slick, I’m not narrating that. Get a grip Spades, I know you’re mad but-

Of course yep you have a knife I can see that you don’t need to-
Okay. You’ve stabbed me. What you’ve done is you’ve stabbed me. Somebody help.

[Sovereign Slayer @RedMilesAway]

This is your favorite mirror so far.

[Spades Slick @sp4desSlick]

@cervineGrimoire [I] SS: stifle the urge to give this woman an apology stab

You awkwardly pat the girl on the shoulder, saying something about it being fine enough, without compromising on your own stubbornness and admitting it’s actually “good”.

[Spades Slick @sp4desSlick]

@cervineGrimoire You scowl at the girl, mumbling something about the taste while you’re still trying to pretend it isn’t as good as it is. Perhaps you’ve got to open your mind, Slick.

[Spades Slick @sp4desSlick]

@cervineGrimoire [I] ==>

You find yourself ogling the peculiar treats suspiciously. They surely won’t be as good as your favorites, but you can use their poor taste as an excuse to give this alien a good drubbing.

[I] SS: bite a cookie

You are immediately appalled… because they taste good.

+

[Spades Slick @sp4desSlick]

@carcinoGennic SS: Then unbolt the door or something.
SS: Can’t be that hard to push through the thing blocking your path after it’s not holding anything in place.

[Spades Slick @sp4desSlick]

@carcinoGennic SS: Turn ninety degrees to your right and just get out the window.
SS: Assuming it’s still real. It’s been a while since I was last there, my focus has been elsewhere.

[Spades Slick @sp4desSlick]

@carcinoGennic SS: What do you think I can do about it?

[Spades Slick @sp4desSlick]

@carcinoGennic SS: Why would someone leave their weapon alone in their office?
SS: Just begging to have it slit your throat while you sleep, or burrow into the back of your skull.
SS: Is that what you decided to waste my time with?