Mister Whippy

I'm probably crying.

[Mister Whippy @sparrfarts]

My handle includes the word "farts" and I am wearing a @DiarrheaPlanet tank. That's about all you need to know about me.

[Mister Whippy @sparrfarts]

@nyangosling But to the person who said a genuine apology requires no response, ding ding ding, they are the winner

[Mister Whippy @sparrfarts]

@nyangosling I can't believe you posted this IS MY ADVICE NOT ENOUGH

[Mister Whippy @sparrfarts]

This might be because we just visited my parents' house and my father keeps calling my child "Bradley Pooper" but I'm not sure

[Mister Whippy @sparrfarts]

I keep having this recurring dream where I'm in girl scouts and we're at like an awards ceremony but it's also an actual awards ceremony where I always end up seated next to @ladygaga and Bradley Cooper and because it's a recurring dream, Lady Gaga always says hi to me

[Mister Whippy @sparrfarts]

I had a dream that I was married to Stanley Tucci and we were trying to rent an airbnb that ended up not existing but then we broke in and it was a super well maintained MASSIVE building that a large group of kids were using for a dance team location

[Mister Whippy @sparrfarts]

Really just want to get to the level of friendship where I can tell them I had a crush on them for 3 years

[Mister Whippy @sparrfarts]

My sex dream lover is pregnant it's come full circle folks

[Mister Whippy @sparrfarts]

Remember when people could get married at @CatsCradleNC ??

[Mister Whippy @sparrfarts]

My biggest regret in life is that I woo girled my own wedding

[Mister Whippy @sparrfarts]

...to a crowd of people at Cat's Cradle who all witnessed it

[Mister Whippy @sparrfarts]

Graham is trying to tell me people either don't know or don't care what "shipping" is and I really don't know what to believe

[Mister Whippy @sparrfarts]

Explain your friendship in a few words:

My best friend's mom knows the status of my postpartum libido

[Mister Whippy @sparrfarts]

Graham: "we're having the third wettest winter on record."

Me: "I'm having my wettest winter on record."

[Mister Whippy @sparrfarts]

Graham: "thank you for getting hardcore into anime instead of getting into MLMs"

Me: YAOI 4 LYFE

[Mister Whippy @sparrfarts]

Today marks 7 years since Glenwood Ave became Mad Max: Flurry Road

[Mister Whippy @sparrfarts]

@grimtuple Unless you're a woman who's been watching grown men throw hissy fits her whole life

[Mister Whippy @sparrfarts]

@sliceObri I only responded to the first half, but also I do make Graham poop in a separate bathroom than our bedroom one

[Mister Whippy @sparrfarts]

@sliceObri As an adult I have only actually done this with two people and I hate to report that it is in fact one of my favorite things and something I miss greatly

[Mister Whippy @sparrfarts]

Courtney "I watch porn for the plot" Sparr

[Mister Whippy @sparrfarts]

@body_games JESUS CHRIST LOL