𝚜𝚙 ✨

based on a true story

[𝚜𝚙 ✨ @spartridgee]

Me: *trying to sleep*
My brain: someBODY ONCE TOLD ME

[𝚜𝚙 ✨ @spartridgee]

@Eddie_Adams9 #livingthedream

[𝚜𝚙 ✨ @spartridgee]

In other news I am now a hydroflask owning person

[𝚜𝚙 ✨ @spartridgee]

@Desiree_Anne That’s my concern too, how are we going to know the difference between those who are dropping the mask bc they’re vaccinated and those who just don’t want to wear one? Idk if this is a good time to rely on the honor system.

[𝚜𝚙 ✨ @spartridgee]

I think I cracked it...why CCM is so bad. In the late 90s/early 00s, it wasn’t *that* bad. But CCM never evolved past that, so while the rest of music was changing CCM stayed the same. Now it sounds like it was made in 02 but it was actually made yesterday.

[𝚜𝚙 ✨ @spartridgee]

Cody walked in on me doing the Gangnam Style dance for a hiit dance workout. Any advice on how we can save our marriage?!

[𝚜𝚙 ✨ @spartridgee]

I think someone just needs to say it already, so here goes.....

It’s an INSTANT Pot. Not an InstaPot.

[𝚜𝚙 ✨ @spartridgee]

@DBollinger_31 Pete Davidson’s spidey senses just tingled

[𝚜𝚙 ✨ @spartridgee]

Hear me out: The Bachelor but it’s like Survivor and the girls vote each other down to the final three and the bachelor picks from them.

[𝚜𝚙 ✨ @spartridgee]

@_CassandraLoren But did you listen to “waiting room”

[𝚜𝚙 ✨ @spartridgee]

“He looks like Mike Zuckerberg’s better-looking brother.” Cody on Chris Martin.

(Yes, he did say Mike.)

[𝚜𝚙 ✨ @spartridgee]

@_CassandraLoren Pride and Prejudice but also Gossip Girl

[𝚜𝚙 ✨ @spartridgee]

@fransescadrose I want to throw up

[𝚜𝚙 ✨ @spartridgee]

Serious question. Who in their right mind watches the show “Survivor” and thinks to themself “I’d really love to be on that show.”

[𝚜𝚙 ✨ @spartridgee]

@fransescadrose Plot twist I think most places do just capture one that they’ll actually show over all their scheduled times

[𝚜𝚙 ✨ @spartridgee]

“If the devil can’t make you hurt others, he may settle for keeping you from helping others.” - @CharaDonahue

[𝚜𝚙 ✨ @spartridgee]

Just cracked open a bloody egg for the first time and I am UNWELL

[The Golden Ratio @TheGoldenRatio4]

Once again, the golden retriever was robbed #NationalDogShow

[𝚜𝚙 ✨ @spartridgee]

She gets it

[alex guarnaschelli @guarnaschelli]

Please don’t lie to yourself. Canned (jellied) cranberry sauce is a must for every #Thanksgiving table. #unsponsored

[𝚜𝚙 ✨ @spartridgee]

STOP IT, 2020. STOP IT RIGHT NOW.

[Jeopardy! @Jeopardy]

Jeopardy! is saddened to share that Alex Trebek passed away peacefully at home early this morning, surrounded by family and friends. Thank you, Alex.