Corinne

I am not an oaf.

[Corinne @spectacledghost]

Why in the hell is Jane Eyre drinking out of a coffee mug?

[Corinne @spectacledghost]

This disabled man's nightmare tenants won't pay the rent and make all kinds of noise at all hours. They keep invading his privacy and interrupting his dates. He just wants to play the Music of the Night, you brutes

[Corinne @spectacledghost]

People parody how b&w TV women magically know how to vacuum curtains and make pot roast or whatever, but what about the gangster wives who are popping out bullets and changing dressings while tearfully begging their man to forget this job and head east? Without looking, even?

[Corinne @spectacledghost]

Collection development classes never mention how much time you'll spend decoding what patrons have scribbled on Kamala Harris' face in periodicals

[Corinne @spectacledghost]

Sir Topham Hat is the capitalist villain behind everything. I know it.

[Corinne @spectacledghost]

The King Kong men have shot an innocent stegosaurus and now they're trying to kill Nessie. When will Kong come and smush these brutes?

[Corinne @spectacledghost]

@WSJ How do we know Dr Pepper isn't a cola if its flavors are unconfirmed? 🤔

[Corinne @spectacledghost]

@MelissaKXLY4 What if the nuns resurface in line at the new chicken joint? Then everyone wins.

[Corinne @spectacledghost]

People's blurry Northern Lights selfies just look like the X-Files came to town

[Corinne @spectacledghost]

https://t.co/fiGahfvn5r

[Corinne @spectacledghost]

Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte goes hard. Someone auditioned a children's choir to sing about Bette Davis chopping some guy to bits.

[Corinne @spectacledghost]

A lot of great Met gala looks, but only Rhianna can disappear inside a rosebush when she's done with people the way that introverts sink into a hoodie. Eyelash glasses to cover any naps. Brilliant.

[Corinne @spectacledghost]

I LOVE that they still can't find the zebra. I hope some child in the hills thinks she has a new pet pony. I hope it's peering in the windows of an AirBnB. I hope it's chewing Fruitstripe Gum and blowing bubbles. https://t.co/crwn2jzGGK

[Corinne @spectacledghost]

@thenerdbrarian Ugh, they would.

[Corinne @spectacledghost]

@thenerdbrarian Did the fist fight involve all five people? Are we a waffle house now?

[Corinne @spectacledghost]

Is that how the kids wear them these days?

[Corinne @spectacledghost]

I need to stop leaving myself cryptic calendar notes years in advance.

[Corinne @spectacledghost]

@Sarah_OHare Please give a full review after 🧐

[Corinne @spectacledghost]

@thenerdbrarian Stop scaring him, you brute

[Corinne @spectacledghost]

@thenerdbrarian Brilliant