I constantly keep having to remind myself how much u never appreciated me, how much u took my love granted, the minimal effort u put into me romantically/physically/emotionally, u never cared for me in the ways i needed u to. All this recollection to stop myself from going backβ¦
Unfortunately, I do want a provider. I do want a protector. I do want a leader. I do want a dominant man. I do want emotional maturity and effective communication. I do want mental stability. I do want to be spoiled. I do want self awareness. I do want clingy, obsessed and safe. I do want someone who chooses me every time. And nobody is going to make me feel bad for wanting those things in a partner.
The fact that God single handedly created the friends i needed placed in my life to help me through something my own BLOOD family should be helping me with is diabolical. Truly insane!!!
Iβm so incredibly grateful for these friends Iβve carefully held onto all these yearsπ«Άπ½
The realization of truly being on your own to figure life out with 2 children + a dog homeless without a single family member that gives a fuck about the domestic violence that took to get us hereβ¦. This shit hitting different right nowβ¦