Spider V

Mechanic / scientist and lab jockey / transportation & infrastructure enthusiast / kitchen dancer. Unapologetic banjoist. Lifter of heavy things.

[Spider V @spider_vee]

I finally figured out how to use Twitter

[hayley® @hayleyalex]

@sammymaine @AndrewSolender Hell yeah Hudson

[Spider V @spider_vee]

My phone has 5 pre-programmed text responses. Thinking of changing #1 to "I suggest you consult a quality atlas" #lookatamap

[Spider V @spider_vee]

Gonna find that missing tuba mouthpiece any day now

[Spider V @spider_vee]

@bequilles Grapefruit response

[Spider V @spider_vee]

Mostly I just sit on the couch, staring due west long after the sun sets and listening to Eminence Front by The Who

[Spider V @spider_vee]

OH: "oh yeah, my ex was terrible. One time he compared my immigrant parents to invasive plant species"

[Spider V @spider_vee]

In Which Too Many Questions Are Asked About The Superbowl

[Spider V @spider_vee]

"Hey, what happened to my wine?"

[peers into cup with suspicion]

"You picked up Bob's beer, that's what happened to your wine"

[Spider V @spider_vee]

"What to do with a tuba like this... ...it's a conversation starter"

"It's ... not playable like a regular tuba"

"... kinda sounds like a helicopter..."
https://t.co/VdVKrnjYzZ

[Spider V @spider_vee]

At Safeway grocery: an older Russian couple with a tiny terrier in the beer/yogurt aisle, arguing over which Chobani flavors to get

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

The reduction of a word's intensity through exaggerated use is a process called 'semantic bleaching.' https://t.co/NwZGBm0rXo

[Spider V @spider_vee]

@mdedolph Go Ducks!

[NOT A WOLF @SICKOFWOLVES]

MOVING IS AWESOME

I GET TO PACK UP ALL MY THINGS AND SLOWLY REALIZE THAT THE MATERIAL GOODS I SPENT YEARS WORKING TO AFFORD HAVE BECOME AN ANCHOR FROM WHICH I WILL NEVER BE FREE

OH AND I MUST FORWARD MY MAIL

[Spider V @spider_vee]

@leahvelcro they are delawoke

[Spider V @spider_vee]

that time he moved out of my house and left behind a tree stump https://t.co/Kophd1vDoS

[Spider V @spider_vee]

"Alexa, play songs by Bix Beiderbecke"

...

"I don't know, I still hear harp music"

[Spider V @spider_vee]

"Y'know I have never drank a PBR and I've never drank a Budweiser"

"Well then you've saved yourself a lot of flatulence"

[Spider V @spider_vee]

"Do you remember ChampAle? It was the champagne of beers"

[Spider V @spider_vee]

Hosting: "Good morning and happy 2018! Would you like some coffee? Some electrolytes? ... or both?"

[Spider V @spider_vee]

Ice house #breathe https://t.co/t1v3PapFwA