Kalealou

mayo the force with be you

[Kalealou @spiderhatch]

Now that is funny

[Kalealou @spiderhatch]

The carpe deodorant is just okay but I would lie if they paid me

[Kalealou @spiderhatch]

The socks that “get lost” in the dryer stay in there to perform mastectomies on the sports bras

[Kalealou @spiderhatch]

What a relief to know that my child with moderate to severe eczema can feel the flow

[Kalealou @spiderhatch]

Hand sanitizer should be served hot

[Kalealou @spiderhatch]

I can’t think of one good reason to make a street go only one way

[Kalealou @spiderhatch]

When I’m eating and accidentally smell my fork ugh

[Kalealou @spiderhatch]

Heartbreak comes in many forms. Today I was heartbroken to find out I had plans later.

[Kalealou @spiderhatch]

Trump sets the prices at buffalo exchange

[Kalealou @spiderhatch]

Does the tv use less energy when it’s paused? Seems like yes

[Kalealou @spiderhatch]

I’m doing it. The triple heist. (Hitting all three love island villas, South Africa, Fiji, Spain, at the same time on the same night).

[Kalealou @spiderhatch]

High heels to the museum so I walk slow n careful

[Kalealou @spiderhatch]

Are all apps free now?

[Kalealou @spiderhatch]

Letterboxed interviews… that camera… so high def… see every molecule on the persons face

[Kalealou @spiderhatch]

Why does eating leftover pancakes or waffles make my mouth feel tight

[Kalealou @spiderhatch]

A Frog’s Résumé

- Class pet (3rd grade), 2022-23
- Throat residency, 2023-25
- Prince in disguise, 2025- current

Professional, motivated individual. You say “jump” I say “how high?”

[Kalealou @spiderhatch]

Would you rather smell like fridge or microwave

[Kalealou @spiderhatch]

Picture this

[Kalealou @spiderhatch]

I love all my tv shows 🩷 I love them so much and I love watching them! Like a garden full of flowers 💐 but I don’t have enough water 😩 for all of them! Ugh

[Kalealou @spiderhatch]

Athletes, I hope you sleep well knowing your jobs are safe from AI ❤️

[Kalealou @spiderhatch]

Do you rent or own?