Spaceforce Spiff

Woodworker, baseball/softball coach, dad and patriot. #BravesCountry

[Scott Coleman @scottcoleman55]

Braves won
Mets lost
Phillies lost
Marlins lost
Nationals lost

[Spaceforce Spiff @SpiffForceLive]

@hidalgo_jaziel @AutismCapital Dude that happened like a year ago.

[Braves Stash 🇺🇸 @BravesStash]

Can we just make note that Jim Jarvis IMMEDIATELY effected the game as soon as he came in?

Don't sit him again you sons of bitches.

Jimmy Baseball

[Spaceforce Spiff @SpiffForceLive]

@b_outliers We’re making the rest of the country love us.

[Spaceforce Spiff @SpiffForceLive]

@grok @White_RhinoCap @_alphafit @Grok But what did the Wyoming Avocado Commission say?

[Spaceforce Spiff @SpiffForceLive]

@SovSoulMel We are a proper nation…

[Spaceforce Spiff @SpiffForceLive]

This should piss off every residential contractor out there.

[Spaceforce Spiff @SpiffForceLive]

@Reta_Triz @tyminski_marek Guy doesn’t even know what game he’s talking about.

[Spaceforce Spiff @SpiffForceLive]

@BohmIsKing @Braves Like who, the Dodgers? Oh wait, we already have a series win against them. How bout you?

[Spaceforce Spiff @SpiffForceLive]

@SleeperMLB @SleeperDodgers @SleeperCubs @SleeperBraves @SleeperDbacks @SleeperSFGiants @SleeperRangers Old Man Pearls

[Spaceforce Spiff @SpiffForceLive]

@matthewbonadies @GAFollowers Say that to the parents of kids going to the Dunwoody gymnastics program that the vice president of Flock was recently caught tapping into.

[Azul Lightbringer ⚡💡 @AzulAether]

Thought this was cool and thought Odyssey was bad
So i whipped up a site documenting this gap in rating for every movie from 2019 - present.

You can check it out out at https://t.co/tsM9h5Ev6b

[OptaSTATS @OptaSTATS]

Drake Baldwin is the youngest MLB player in the modern era (since 1900) with 5+ hits and 2+ HR in a single game while appearing as a catcher (25 years, 113 days).

[Spaceforce Spiff @SpiffForceLive]

@hicasamadim 9

[Spaceforce Spiff @SpiffForceLive]

@nut_history Oh how I wish this were true.

[Spaceforce Spiff @SpiffForceLive]

@shairnn 18.

(5x5)x2=50
(6x6)x2=72
(3x3)x2=18

[Spaceforce Spiff @SpiffForceLive]

I really want a movie about this era called Blowball

[Baseball Doesn't Exist @BaseballDoesnt]

MLB's cocaine era was stranger than you remember

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I left Alabama. I am in Georgia now.

At 3 a.m. I saw a yellow sign glowing beside the highway.

Waffle House.

I went in. The parking lot was full. At 3 a.m.

I asked the waitress when they close.

She looked at me the way you look at a child who has asked when gravity ends.

She said, "We don't close, baby."

Two things happened in that sentence.

One: I learned Waffle House has never closed. Not at night. Not on Christmas. Not during hurricanes.

Two: she called me "baby."

I am a grown man. I have a mortgage. It repaired something in me I did not know was broken.

I ordered hash browns.

She said, "Scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, diced, peppered, capped, or topped?"

I did not understand a single word in that sentence.

I said, "Yes."

She nodded and wrote it down. Apparently that was a correct answer.

Then I learned something, and I need you to know I did not invent this.

The United States government measures the strength of hurricanes by whether the Waffle House is open.

Open: the storm is fine.

Limited menu: the storm is serious.

Closed: evacuate. It is over.

This is called the Waffle House Index. FEMA uses it. FEMA. The disaster agency.

Japan built earthquake satellites. America watches a diner.

Both systems work.

At 3 a.m., the Waffle House contained: two truck drivers. A nurse still in scrubs. Four teenagers in prom clothes. One man who had clearly made several mistakes that evening. And one Japanese man with a notebook.

Nobody asked anybody why they were there.

At Waffle House, being there is the answer.

Then a man at the counter noticed my Alabama shirt. It was a gift. Long story.

He did not speak. He pointed at the shirt and shook his head slowly, the way you correct someone in church.

Then he said, quietly: "Go Dawgs."

I panicked and used the only word I own.

"Roll Tide."

Every fork in the building stopped.

The cook looked up from the eggs.

The waitress said, "Baby, no."

I understand now. Every state here has its own word. My word is from one state ago.

The man bought my waffle anyway.

He said, and I am quoting him exactly: "You didn't know. Bless your heart."

I have been told that phrase has two meanings.

I believe I received the gentle one.

I believe.

[Spaceforce Spiff @SpiffForceLive]

The greatest integration story I’ve ever read on here.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

In Alabama a man said "Roll Tide" to me as a greeting.

Later that same day, the same man said "Roll Tide" as a goodbye.

I asked a woman at the store what it means.

She said, "Roll Tide."

I asked what it means.

She said, "It means Roll Tide, sugar."

So I began collecting evidence. I kept a list. I am not embarrassed about the list.

I have now heard "Roll Tide" used as: hello. Goodbye. Thank you. I am sorry. Congratulations. That is unfortunate. I agree. I disagree. And once, in a hardware store, as a complete set of instructions for installing a ceiling fan.

I heard it said at a funeral.

It was appropriate. It was the most appropriate thing anyone said that day.

I began using it. Carefully at first, the way a man handles a borrowed sword.

I said it to a cashier. She said it back.

I said it to a police officer who had stopped me for a broken taillight.

He looked at me for a long moment. He looked at my face. He looked at my taillight.

Then he said it back, and nodded once, and did not write the ticket.

I wish to be extremely clear that I am not claiming those two events are related.

I am also not claiming they are unrelated.

A man at a gas station heard my accent and asked where I was from. I told him Japan.

He said, "Roll Tide."

He meant welcome. I knew he meant welcome. There was no ambiguity at all.

I have been in Alabama eleven days.

I have one word.

It has been enough for everything.

I have started saying it in other states.

It does not work in other states.

I said it in a warehouse store in Oregon. One man turned around.

He was from Alabama. He said it back. We did not speak after that. We did not have to.

I say it anyway.

[Spaceforce Spiff @SpiffForceLive]

@Braves @BraveYardShift Yes, let’s not look at pitchers but bolster our OF more.