Fred ☀️

at the age where it’s like that’s fine

[e l l a 🇨🇦 @blondehotcoffee]

whoever has my voodoo doll stop putting so much poop in its butt

[Tim Cato @tim_cato]

y’all will not believe how quickly “not even allowed to write something wrong now in this perfect world” will enter my lexicon

[jane @ijanedoll]

A college swimmer caught red-handed assaulting an unconscious girl behind a dumpster gets sentenced to just 3 months in jail because the judge "didn't want to ruin his Olympic potential." Once again, a man's hypothetical career is worth more than a woman's actual life.

[Fred ☀️ @spoiledoranges2]

she gleep on my glop till i glorp

[Ryan Hammer🔨 @ryanhammer09]

This is …. And I don’t say this lightly…. The single greatest piece of writing I have ever seen in my life

The Japanese have discovered unlimited chips & salsa and it’s beautiful

[ariel @donotdelay]

Being raised in an anti SpongeBob household is a lifelong social handicap and lowkey abusive

[Rea @no1blackjackfan]

I daresay this cover outmogged ALL the other riordanverse covers

[(◍•ᴗ•◍)♡ ✧*。 @nicegirI123]

Ladies🤔 what would you do if your man ordered from the Skinnylicious menu at Cheesecake Factory?

[aurora @girlbot019]

was talking to my 45 year old father and he used the term “retardmaxxing” mid conversation

[blaire @pissshit90001]

boyfriend called... DECLINE! busy whore! busy with my TWITTER

[Moira Donegan @MoiraDonegan]

There are lovers you forget and sandwiches that haunt you for the rest of your life.

[goma @soigomaa]

Free my man

[Whar❓️ @the_whar]

The type of shit Riddler says when Batman's on his last nerve:

[solé @layxsnv]

these new mosquitos pulling yo pants down & eating yo ass !

[Merlin 🇪🇺 @Merlinchon]

My dad tried to explain the Big Bang to me but I couldn't take it seriously cos he's French so he called it 'le Big Bong'

[Dogfucker @rotnbrain]

her pussy farted mid thrust and blew my pubes back like a leaf blower

[dude @tradboiwife]

sitting butt ass naked on my leather chair i don't care anymore #LeavingMyMark #SwampAss