soccer mom

don't follow me it's a trap. she/her/they

[soccer mom @spookylamppost]

@SLAYLONIE Hi 👋🏻

[soccer mom @spookylamppost]

Has Rob Schneider started a cult yet?

[soccer mom @spookylamppost]

What brand of therapy is today? Asking for a friend.

[soccer mom @spookylamppost]

@boburnham thank u for inside, it got me through the pandemic, and today my MRI tech played it for me during one of the most anxiety inducing doctors visits I’ve had. I have another appointment tomorrow and I plan on playing it again

[soccer mom @spookylamppost]

Trees won’t sue you.

[soccer mom @spookylamppost]

@ColinCowherd happy birthday

[soccer mom @spookylamppost]

@GuyFieri really, the Salvation Army? Pick a better charity. Your homophobia is showing. I thought I was a fan of you.

[soccer mom @spookylamppost]

@CornheiserTony get off my tv please I don’t know how this happened

[soccer mom @spookylamppost]

@TonyReali stop the horn noise I hate it.

[soccer mom @spookylamppost]

@jasonrmcintyre you’re a terrible husband if you ignore your wife’s birthday for the playoffs

[soccer mom @spookylamppost]

.@NFL can the halftime show be smash mouth please

[soccer mom @spookylamppost]

All I had to do was follow the damn train

[Joe Kernen @JoeSquawk]

@spookylamppost I hope Sophie sues you, loser

[soccer mom @spookylamppost]

Update my summer style is still depressed single dad

[soccer mom @spookylamppost]

https://t.co/uWNJjOeys2

[mike ginn @shutupmikeginn]

Leaving a store without buying anything is embarrassing. I feel like people think "farewell idiot who went to the grocery store by mistake"

[soccer mom @spookylamppost]

I physically cannot cope with losing Pot Roast, I send nothing but love to her mom and offer my full support. Losing a cat hurts so so much I know that pain. I hope Pot Roast is hanging out with Frankenstein over the rainbow bridge.

[soccer mom @spookylamppost]

.@GuyFieri what’s up with the eggs

[soccer mom @spookylamppost]

@traitorjoke I read this as bisexual alligators and was very confused

[soccer mom @spookylamppost]

@chrissychlapp That happened to me in college with an Arizona tea can

[soccer mom @spookylamppost]

My top moods on Spotify this year were “silly” and “angst”. Do with that information what you will