helen 🇵🇸

dr. dumb bitch

[helen 🇵🇸 @sporknik]

32 is still young, right? ... RIGHT?

[unusual_whales @unusual_whales]

JUST IN: Chinese President Xi Jinping announced that China will invite 100,000 young Americans to visit the country for exchange and study programs over the next five years.

[helen 🇵🇸 @sporknik]

this is my dream halloween costume in a world where somehow everyone is as online as I am

[helen 🇵🇸 @sporknik]

showing this to my breast surgeon

[Brycen 🏆 @Brycen2047]

Bill Belichick’s build is crazy

[helen 🇵🇸 @sporknik]

there’s simply no way the last person in this bathroom was not of feline ancestry given its smell

[helen 🇵🇸 @sporknik]

lotta beautiful women in this stinky basement here to see the peach candy nut boys

[helen 🇵🇸 @sporknik]

Gimme the soda that blows my shit smoove off

[helen 🇵🇸 @sporknik]

completely unfortunate that greensboro is putting out cooler bands than raleigh but alas

[helen 🇵🇸 @sporknik]

hell yeah

[helen 🇵🇸 @sporknik]

she’s from texas you can tell by the way she hawk tuah on that thang

[helen 🇵🇸 @sporknik]

clavicular is in my town and none of my friends are willing to go mog him I’m devastated

[helen 🇵🇸 @sporknik]

dentist said I’m doing a great job so I can keep drinking 1 million Coke zeros and using zyns

[helen 🇵🇸 @sporknik]

I love hopping on a zoom call and realizing my shirt is the same color as my skin in our office lighting

[helen 🇵🇸 @sporknik]

I love my vibrant midsized city I’m having a good ass time

[helen 🇵🇸 @sporknik]

I’ll tell old people I’m a socialist I don’t care anymore

[helen 🇵🇸 @sporknik]

going to my husbands work while he’s not there and showing everyone my boobs (getting a breast MRI)

[helen 🇵🇸 @sporknik]

storm canceled the Dylan concert noooooo he doesn’t get to die by my mild viral illness

[helen 🇵🇸 @sporknik]

my baby loves the roku remote he loves the preset buttons for apps that only work on tvs in purgatory

[helen 🇵🇸 @sporknik]

Going to bob dylan tonight sick as a dog and you know I’m gonna be open mouth coughing

[helen 🇵🇸 @sporknik]

thank you pavement for playing stairway to heaven so I can change my tampon

[helen 🇵🇸 @sporknik]

Can’t be talking like that white brewery