dishwasher safe

whoever's the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on

[dishwasher safe @sporknuts]

well you see what happened was

[dishwasher safe @sporknuts]

@GameGrumps I HAVE A BURNING QUESTION. is dan’s “friend named ashley” that went deeper down the rabbit hole to find the ‘does bruno mars is gay’ article the same ashley that is now wife ashley?? this has been killing me #gamegrumps #danavidan

[dishwasher safe @sporknuts]

@egoraptor can confirm, i was killed for this

[dishwasher safe @sporknuts]

finding out that @michellevisage and @egoraptor know of each other, to the point that michelle called arin a homie, gave me whiplash

[dishwasher safe @sporknuts]

so i hear that all you have to do is say it…markiplier?

[dishwasher safe @sporknuts]

i think people forget that the original “i can be your angle, or yuor devil” meme was literally arin hanson

[dishwasher safe @sporknuts]

with every new tweet gus johnson makes he only digs his grave deeper

[dishwasher safe @sporknuts]

secret shipost account where i can talk about the things that matter:
gluten free bread needs to be bigger

[dishwasher safe @sporknuts]

listen i’m as alternative as they come but we don’t talk about twista’s verse in slow jamz enough

[dishwasher safe @sporknuts]

you’re telling me i have two autoimmune diseases and i’m currently headed to the ER for an EAR INFECTION

[dishwasher safe @sporknuts]

my two favorite southern measurements of distance are “spitting range” (really close) and “the bank and back” (really far)

[m@thew @TweetPotato314]

imagine swimming for almost a mile and having to rap the entire time remarkable

[dishwasher safe @sporknuts]

going back to watch the finale of RPDR S6 just to see how unsurprised everyone was when @TheBiancaDelRio was crowned

[dishwasher safe @sporknuts]

i say that growing up in the south didn’t affect me then i manage to put 8 syllables into meringue

[dishwasher safe @sporknuts]

i wonder which not-denali is going to win season 13

@denalifox

[dishwasher safe @sporknuts]

they told me i was getting an extra week of spring break and now i’m a leftist who can read tarot cards what happened

[dishwasher safe @sporknuts]

@denalifox could beat any of the top four in a lip sync and that’s not up for debate

[dishwasher safe @sporknuts]

@TheBiancaDelRio i’m sorry for being born on your birthday but 26 years later

[dishwasher safe @sporknuts]

‘a pleasure to have in class’ to bisexual pipeline