GS

hypothetically philosophically metaphorically

[Jacob @Jsize18]

Genuinely the greatest ever

[pucko @pussy_liquor_]

I have a salt lick installed in my room And I stand on all fours and go to town. Until I hear a twig snap 👀 who’s there

[I eat short people @UnderwearStain]

My grandma just did a death roll like an alligator on my grandpa and ripped his arm off because he took the last toaster waffle

[GS @Sprecktacular]

I’ve been 27 for 60 years

[GS @Sprecktacular]

My dad acts like you’ve drained his savings, stole his car and blew up his house if you don’t say bless you after he sneezes

[GS @Sprecktacular]

God bless the person that has to pick up the piss soaked zyns in the dive bar urinal

[GS @Sprecktacular]

I need 6 certi’s to pull up and do some manual labor for 2 miller lites per hour

[GS @Sprecktacular]

I’ve trekked 6 miles through the Philadelphian bush to get to this dive bar

[Sonny Bunch @SonnyBunch]

Jason Statham revenge movie about an ex-SAS officer going to Mexico City to find his kid brother who went missing after tonight’s game and taking out two-thirds of the Mexican cartels in the process.

[Ray Mond @AmberRayz]

on my way to a meetup i initiated when i was in an extraverted mood

[Miss Ally @MissAlly_01]

I was offered sex today by a very handsome 26yo. In exchange I was to advertise some bathroom cleaner on Twitter. Of course I declined because of my morals & strong willpower, which is as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner available scented with vanilla or lemon.

[GS @Sprecktacular]

I was born on the Fourth of July. That’s cool, my friend blew his hand off on the same day what are the chances

[GS @Sprecktacular]

Anybody wanna speed run the 7 deadly sins later?

[saliva plath @cryptofeminism]

Guys that work at weed dispensaries are like “No bro I swear it’s not gonna feel like you’ve been wrapped with bandages and locked in a sarcophagus for 2 thousand years” meanwhile the strain is named The Mummy’s Curse Comes True

[GS @Sprecktacular]

Chat shit get banged

[Dr. R. J. Vein @VeinRichard]

I come from old monkey

[Connett Croghan @cocrotoofly]

You know life is fucked up when you start developing personal philosophies

[GS @Sprecktacular]

I’ll never let you down even if I could