.

The man who chases two rabbits gets neither

[. @sprice_9]

If your in stocks right now that’s like being a corn farmer during the gold rush

[BIG OG @iamogkidd]

thug it out gangsta , it can't rain forever

[BAM @SolidBam]

imagine a mf tell chatgpt about u

[𐌕 🍂 @fwtimini]

No contact is fine, but not even wishing me a happy birthday is really doing too much.

[lala @ladanai_]

I know you miss me you avoidant fake nonchalant wannabe mysterious little shart.

[OSAS🦅 @MrOGdiamond]

I've lost all my flirting skills. All I do is ask "how was your day" and "have you eaten" 😭

[𝗫𝘆𝗻ᥫ᭡ @xynifyy]

Mf gon hit a pothole and get in a plane accident

[atlas @reatlashype]

This economy is so fkd you'll be sitting here thinking you're bad with money and all you did was buy food

[ً @BALUCIAGA]

“my boyfriend won’t flush the toilet, doesn’t help with chores and has skid marks in his underwear”

[will depue @willdepue]

do you think Maduro’s wife got the ick after he got kidnapped by seal team 6

[daz @MetamateDaz]

HOT TAKE: IF BUSINESSES ONLY HAVE TO PAY TAXES ON PROFIT, NOT REVENUE, THEN I SHOULD ONLY HAVE TO PAY TAXES AFTER I'VE PAID ALL MY BILLS AND RENT.

[toxic king @toxicking]

Life after accepting she just a hoe and not the one

[Sal the Agorist @SallyMayweather]

How do I claim Israel as a dependent on my taxes?

[👽 @awwheyuu]

"ik you got hoes" 1 girl is enough to piss me off. fuck makes you think i'd want 5

[𝔻𝕒𝕟. @fwdaniels]

in a generation where everyone is always on their phone, late replies are deliberate

[krill @anthraxp1mp]

Just realized my dog is fat virgin who has never fucked in his life and I chopped his balls off on top of all that

[Erik @e_cdalton]

Testing out the new break room couches with your work wife

[naiive @naiivememe]

mood

[claire @rosiekennedyxx]

“Ew you let your dog sleep in your bed?”
Buddy I’d let him shoot a gun if he wanted to

[shat @0xShat]

Hate being a grower and not a shower cause if I ever get pantsed I gotta start cranking my hog