DodgyDave

Just trying to look as though i'm busy working.

[Sophie Corcoran @sophielouisecc]

The people who are against Free breakfast clubs and Scrapping the two child cap are often called selfish.

But there is nothing more selfish than thinking you should be able to have as many children as you want and someone else will pay for them

That’s entitlement

[🇺🇸 🦅Simple Man 🦅🇺🇸 @Soaringeagle45]

Yesterday, I left work pretending to be sick…

This morning, 2 of my coworkers didn’t show up saying they caught it from me…

Freaking liars

[ThexyBeatht_ @ThexyBeatht_2]

People tell me to just be myself. Then they expect me to apologize when I am

[PunkAndNewWave @NewWaveAndPunk]

Released on this day in 1979: Babylon's Burning #TheRuts
https://t.co/gkmRt5446U

[Jamie Kay @TheRealJamieKay]

Got sad news today. After 7 years of medical training, my good friend has been struck off after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients & now can no longer work in the job he loves. What a waste of time, training & money. A genuinely nice guy, and a great vet.

[mariana Z @mariana057]

Yesterday my wife thought she saw a cockroach in the kitchen. She sprayed everything down and cleaned thoroughly.

Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

[DodgyDave @spuddydave10]

@KayEmily2 Somebody having to justify their highly paid job? Quite worrying really that they keep tabs on us so closely.

[mariana Z @mariana057]

I watched a documentary on weed last night.

I think that’s how I’ll watch all documentaries from now on…

[Uncle Duke @UncleDuke1969]

grandpa said he didn’t want a fuss

[Kenny Keil @kennykeil]

twitter's a great place to argue over stuff you'd ignore if someone said it to you at a bus stop

[Renée Meredith @wumother]

What doesn’t kill you still TRIED to kill you, so that’s pretty shady

[Tater 🍁 @TrueTorontoGirl]

Being abducted by aliens might just be the vacation I need at this point.

[Just Bill @WilliamAder]

Came out as "fat" to family and friends this week. Most said they already knew.

[ඞ @lifeinchaos_]

Unknown number calls and expects me to talk first, welcome to breathing competition.