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anti-social people person ✨pro-toast✨ # this is just my personal complaint department

[🐭🐊 @spudkikz]

Mfs will see one little bug in the kitchen at midnight and spend the next two hours deep cleaning 💀

[🐭🐊 @spudkikz]

@jerseymikes hey I don’t think your message about the free sub contest ever made it through to my inbox for some reason?

[🐭🐊 @spudkikz]

@jerseymikes @nelalienatson

[🐭🐊 @spudkikz]

@jerseymikes FREE SUB

[🐭🐊 @spudkikz]

I come once again begging my roommate to stop burning his plant burgers in the house

[clare @sadderlizards]

it’s finally soup season

[🐭🐊 @spudkikz]

You know it HAS to be bad when me, as a welder, is complaining about how much smoke your roommates “cooking” makes

[🐭🐊 @spudkikz]

I have my heavy suspicions on who ate my cheeto puffs. Unfortunately he quit last week. After 18 yrs of working here he couldnt take the pressure i was putting on everyone to find out who ate them

[🐭🐊 @spudkikz]

Forgot about a candle i lit and left it burning for 4 hours while i was gone. Nothing happened. House smells great. Might do it again

[🐭🐊 @spudkikz]

Locked in on figuring out who ate my cheeto puffs still

[🐭🐊 @spudkikz]

life is one existential crisis to the next and then its over

[clare @sadderlizards]

i’m sorry it could never work between us. i’m afflicted with an ancient curse

[🐭🐊 @spudkikz]

Hell hath no fury like me when i find out who ate my bag of cheetos puffs

[🐭🐊 @spudkikz]

Whoever ate my bag of cheeto puffs at work gonna feel something later

[🐭🐊 @spudkikz]

The older i get the more im convinced people only get married for tax reasons

[🐭🐊 @spudkikz]

If the only way to make something edible is by completely burning it and smoking out the whole house (esp. when im trying to sleep) then perhaps you should consider not eating it anymore??

[🐭🐊 @spudkikz]

𝒜𝓁𝓁 𝒾 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝓀 𝒶𝒷ℴ𝓊𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓎ℴ𝓊

[🐭🐊 @spudkikz]

Trying to not get in your head about things shouldnt be as hard as it is like just let whatever happen happen but then you still have your hopes up and you dont want to come off too strong but wow 🫠🫨😕

[🐭🐊 @spudkikz]

Is it ok to just be sad for a bit. Its sad time ok

[🐭🐊 @spudkikz]

Pondering the void of every past failed relationship and date even when i need to be at work in a few hours >>