Kenneth Fisqher (the q is silent)

I was offered a wizards hat but it got in the way of my dunce cap. If you want my opinion please wait while I ask my wife. Former MS MVP Jew-ish He/Him

[Kenneth Fisqher (the q is silent) @sqlstudent144]

Lou: Who’s on call?
Bud: Yes.
Lou: The guy on call.
Bud: Who.
Lou: Who’s taking calls after hours!?
Bud: Exactly
https://t.co/1UGdW3dohA

[Kenneth Fisqher (the q is silent) @sqlstudent144]

@MaisieLynn17 There's this lady on line, she sometimes wears MothLady costumes, she does this screaming positivity thing. She gives some great advice at times if you need it 🙃❤️

[Kenneth Fisqher (the q is silent) @sqlstudent144]

@0xTib3rius @TracketPacer Electronic smoke signals

[Kenneth Fisqher (the q is silent) @sqlstudent144]

@KupcakeProse You should name "the" mouse Jerry. 😁

[Kenneth Fisqher (the q is silent) @sqlstudent144]

I wonder if they'll use Nuremberg again?

[Kenneth Fisqher (the q is silent) @sqlstudent144]

@electrifying @_sysengineer As the dad of a 22yo I have bad news for you. The stress hasn't stopped yet and I don't really see any end in sight.

[Kenneth Fisqher (the q is silent) @sqlstudent144]

@deidrejowen Absolutely reasonable. I have to admit I enjoy seeing them :)

[Kenneth Fisqher (the q is silent) @sqlstudent144]

@deidrejowen 😂😂

[Kenneth Fisqher (the q is silent) @sqlstudent144]

@kmmeurer Who's to say the pedantic weirdos aren't the aliens?

[Kenneth Fisqher (the q is silent) @sqlstudent144]

Hu. I wonder how much of that movie will come true. Any obelisks seen recently?

[Kenneth Fisqher (the q is silent) @sqlstudent144]

@kmmeurer It's the aliens preparing us for the next step.

[Kenneth Fisqher (the q is silent) @sqlstudent144]

This immediately made me think of @TracketPacer

[RossRadio @cqcqcqdx]

"What are you doing?" - "Oh just playing a Switch game."

[Kenneth Fisqher (the q is silent) @sqlstudent144]

@Shy_Fox_ Hey, if you have to go that's a pretty good way. 😁

[Kenneth Fisqher (the q is silent) @sqlstudent144]

@steveolivas How's the heart? Still beating?

[Kenneth Fisqher (the q is silent) @sqlstudent144]

@crisisofconsc @bathbodyworks My wife buys about that much each time they are on sale. Plus a bunch of hand sanitizer.

[Kenneth Fisqher (the q is silent) @sqlstudent144]

@deidrejowen We really need some new writers 😔

[Meidas_Charise Lee @charise_lee]

Hilarious 😆

[Kenneth Fisqher (the q is silent) @sqlstudent144]

@karomancer Nooo!! Say it isn't so!

[Derek Devicemanager @IT_unhinged]

Someone emailed ALL@COMPANY:

“Who took my oat milk from the fridge?”

846 recipients.

Then 23 people hit Reply All.

One wrote:

“Not me.”

Another wrote:

“Please remove me from this email.”

To all 846 people.

HR asked IT to stop employees from using the company-wide list for stupid things.

Comms said we couldn’t restrict it because “everyone needs the ability to communicate important information.”

So I made one change.

Every company-wide email now displays the sender’s estimated labor cost.

846 recipients × 20 seconds of reading time × average salary.

The next message came from Marketing.

“Cupcakes in kitchen.”

ESTIMATED ORGANIZATIONAL COST: $1,940

They deleted it.

Company-wide email volume dropped 96% in one day.

Yesterday someone sent one anyway:

“WHOEVER KEEPS STEALING MY OAT MILK, THIS IS NOW A $1,940 PROBLEM.”

Same guy.

Honestly I respect the escalation.

[Kenneth Fisqher (the q is silent) @sqlstudent144]

@crisisofconsc The absolutely 100% necessary org change that happens approximately every 6 months? I have to admit I do not miss those.