ByrdSquared

Rarely seen in photos without my cat. Blue & Green Ribbon holder. Casual nomad: from Navan to Cleveland and back again. Sleepwalking ruined my life....

[ByrdSquared @squaredbyrd]

Americans embracing Carrie Fisher's health like it's the last remaining thread preventing the apocalypse...

[ByrdSquared @squaredbyrd]

I'm not always wrong; but, rest assured, when I am.... my husband is there to make sure I'm aware. #happilymarried #boysarestupid

[ByrdSquared @squaredbyrd]

I watched the pilot episode of Golden Girls yesterday ....... and today I can't help but sing we don't talk about Coco, no no #goldengirlsforever #encanto

[ᒪᗩᑎE @lanechanged]

It's a fact that if you ask your hubs to bring you something from your purse he will just bring you the entire purse.

[ByrdSquared @squaredbyrd]

if you need to paint me as the villain in your origin story, I don't mind, but it speaks volumes that you don't realize you're telling a story....

#youresovainibetyouthinkthispostisaboutyoudontyoudontyou

[ByrdSquared @squaredbyrd]

@GriffeyGrof right? how can they both be correct? unless it's merely about percentages. If it's only affecting the retirees that have to rent or even the ones that choose to rent....

[Destry @DestryBrod]

Boss: introducing the Ford prostitute.

Assistant: Ford escort sounds better.

[ByrdSquared @squaredbyrd]

2018 I was traumatized by this:

just found out Reba McIntyre is the new #ColonelSanders .... and I have to say of all the ways I thought Fancy would let me down this was not even in the top 100. #KFC

[ByrdSquared @squaredbyrd]

wanting to do all the fads everyone else is doing these days so I had a gender reveal party...
apparently me taking off my bra in a room full of people is not "the way to do these things, Byrd"

[ByrdSquared @squaredbyrd]

It's bad enough my husband will ask me what is going on in a movie he was watching first, but he genuinely will ask me how one of his relatives is related to him and I'm supposed to know.... #mymarriageisbasedonclairvoyance

[ByrdSquared @squaredbyrd]

I feel like we're on a slippery slope heading towards replacing pregnancy tests with pregnancy reveal cakes.

Piss on the cake and reveal your baby's gender....

[ByrdSquared @squaredbyrd]

One grandchild just called the other grandchild a grandma as an insult...... I'll be in the corner in my shawl crying if anyone needs me.

[ByrdSquared @squaredbyrd]

Things I never thought I'd shout as a grandma...... We don't use fish as weapons.

[ByrdSquared @squaredbyrd]

You guys can talk about order of operations in mathematics all you want but I've never once gotten to do multiplication in my checking account before addition or subtraction

[ByrdSquared @squaredbyrd]

If you can't beat them.... join a gang, they'll help you beat them cause that's what gangs do: beat people. #whenyoureajetyoureajetalltheway

[ByrdSquared @squaredbyrd]

Them: you smell nice, what perfume are you wearing?
Me: Anxiety......
Them: stares
Me: stares
Them:......
Me:.......
Them:....
Me: oh, and probably a hint of Suave Shampoo

[Hal O' be thy name. @Halbeerz]

Me