Squeaky Tricycle

I need some WD-40.

[Squeaky Tricycle @squeakytricycle]

@richard_phoenix @harryjsisson That’s no worse than what it is now, which is candidates primarily campaigning in purple swing states. Under the current system, if you’re a Republican living in Massachusetts or New York or a Democrat living in Alabama or Kentucky, your vote literally doesn’t matter.

[Squeaky Tricycle @squeakytricycle]

@MikeBrunning @michellecyca https://t.co/wlFzaBTJVg

“Median home prices increased 121% nationwide since 1960, but median household income only increased 29%.”

[Squeaky Tricycle @squeakytricycle]

ATTN: #GlobalCitizen Festival @pearljam @beyonce @edsheeran @coldplay to launch #GlobalGoals to end poverty

[Squeaky Tricycle @squeakytricycle]

There's no heartbreak like getting outbid on eBay. 😢

[Squeaky Tricycle @squeakytricycle]

The only thing missing from the bathroom scene in last night's #GameOfThronesfinale was a #Poptart in a toaster.

[Squeaky Tricycle @squeakytricycle]

I've been wrong all these years. You're the rubber and I'm the glue. #mistakenidentity

[Squeaky Tricycle @squeakytricycle]

Work hard, play hard, sit around all day on my lazy ass doing nothing but eating pizza and watching TV hard. #lifemotto #motivationalspeaker

[Squeaky Tricycle @squeakytricycle]

Here's an article for those offended by The Onion's tweet about Quvenzané Wallis:
http://t.co/3sthgcDOXG

[Squeaky Tricycle @squeakytricycle]

This is what happens when Ray Lewis plays lights out. #poweroutage #superbowl #ravens

[Squeaky Tricycle @squeakytricycle]

This is my life, and it's ending six seconds at a time. #vine #tylerdurden

[Squeaky Tricycle @squeakytricycle]

I like pretzels just enough to like them. If I liked them any less I'd dislike them. And I feel the exact opposite with Twizzlers. #foodwars

[Squeaky Tricycle @squeakytricycle]

@ChenChatter Good point, but stupid people are annoying. Self-awareness goes a long way. Maybe I prefer assholes to idiots. Tough call.

[Squeaky Tricycle @squeakytricycle]

I can't decide which person annoys me more on a crowded subway, the pole hugger or the backpack wearer. #petpeeves #lifeinnyc #serenitynow

[Squeaky Tricycle @squeakytricycle]

Saying ZDT is a movie about torture is like saying Star Wars is a movie about killing stormtroopers. #zerodarkthirty

[Squeaky Tricycle @squeakytricycle]

Overheard a woman in the office saying, "Call me Rumpelstiltskin cuz I just spun that shit", then a high-five. I should drink more coffee.

[Squeaky Tricycle @squeakytricycle]

Just met @GailSimmons at Mandoo in K-town. She was totally sweet and awesome, just like I expected her to be. #topchef #celebritycrush

[Squeaky Tricycle @squeakytricycle]

Eating a whole loaf of bread before it goes moldy is a lot easier to do when you're unemployed. #jobless

[Squeaky Tricycle @squeakytricycle]

NFL officiating has gotten so bad, it's starting to resemble the NBA.

[Squeaky Tricycle @squeakytricycle]

It's official. My Spice Girls power rankings have been updated. For PPR leaguers only. #spicegirls #fantasy

[Squeaky Tricycle @squeakytricycle]

Do I really have to wait four years for the 2016 Olympics? #MichelleJenneke.