Squid

ugw: 85 cw: 118 lbs hw:135 she/her
22 long years of being half alive🐌...edtwt 18+only plz, ana

[Squid @squid01378512]

"Let me finish what I'm saying without you interrupting me" mf you're the one who interrupted what I was saying and now you're speaking on assumptions bc I didn't get to finish what I had to say.

[Squid @squid01378512]

Privacy? Oh I don't deserve that. Never did.

[Squid @squid01378512]

Im so tired of hurting

[Squid @squid01378512]

The pain. I'm so over the pain.

[Squid @squid01378512]

I've never been wanted unless it's to clean or fix smth.

[Squid @squid01378512]

@k14181227 @t_sadiity I noticed you're from Canada, where I live it is how it works unfortunately, I lived thru it, it wasn't bc my parent was spending funds wrong, they didnt have any way to pay for the medical care I needed. Healthcare is expensive here, pretty much free if you're in foster care tho

[Squid @squid01378512]

My body needs love and care after being destroyed by this "family", meanwhile the family that wants to love and care for me have to wonder where i am and how I'm doing. I just want to go home. I just want a peaceful home.

[Squid @squid01378512]

It really is different when it's a parent that dies. A different grief and emptiness. Like smth connected to me is just gone. And now I'm left to look at her when I look at myself in the mirror everyday. We celebrate her tomorrow, and it's so real and raw now. It hurts.

[Squid @squid01378512]

@totheradiantyou @StephieSmallls When it's in drinks and stuff like that I don't notice anything but when I eat the actual fruit it happens, I'm anaphylactic with strawberries so I figured it was the kiwis acidity or smth dumb not a allergy lol (I do always wash my fruit!)

[Squid @squid01378512]

Now that it's 80⁰F again, I remember why I had to stop sitting in this room all day and had to start sitting next to a man who can't keep his hands to himself. And I will die of heatstroke before that man puts his hands on my body ever again.

[Squid @squid01378512]

One day I'll be deserving of feeling something more and better than hurt.
One day I'll deserve to be allowed to put the money towards food, a home, underwear, really just all of the needs I've let be neclted my entire life.
But that day prob won't come.

[Squid @squid01378512]

Would shein or Amazon be better for xs clothes? Gotta do it cheap, including delivery

[Squid @squid01378512]

@musesiq I had a failed stent placed in my renal (kidney) vein, have never felt such intense pain in my abdomen/back. Stent was way too big and pushing on other important organs and veins and stuff💀, I spent at least a week in the hospital and I think over a month of pain management

[Squid @squid01378512]

Mom just died, college troubles, financial troubles, dog troubles, health troubles... and you wanna talk about finally getting a place?
Literally the worst timing.
I have no brain left. I am just a empty shell rn.

[Squid @squid01378512]

@pixyrot I've thrown mine away ever since I ate around the mold and had the worst perfume tasting sandwich (I've drank perfume before and it's the only thing close to what my bread tasted like💀)

[Squid @squid01378512]

@CrxzyBitxh Oh poor baby, I really hope he feels better quickly. I cant imagine how terrifying that was for both of you:( he's such a good dog and super lucky to have you, a pet parent that's trying to help him feel better

[Squid @squid01378512]

Can't grieve if you can't be yourself and don't get a break for 2 weeks straight. Let's not forget the 2 classes I'm gonna have to pay for failing now bc you A GROWN MAN can't let his daughter be a fucking human being in the world. I AM NOT YOURS

[Squid @squid01378512]

I just wanna be me again.