Squilliam

I’m here to shout into the abyss

[Squilliam @Squillingson]

@CaudilloXIV Took your advice and now I got two ugly soon to be baby moms

[Squilliam @Squillingson]

@Starrlynnxx She look like a handsome boy

[𝒞𝑜𝓇𝒾𝓃𝓃𝑒 @vanillahontas]

😭😭😭

[Squilliam @Squillingson]

This might be colorism idk

[BEAHIVE CEO @lobostehqla]

Her 50 year old mom next to her look better than her.

[🐐 @olawalemiii]

cause you made me hate you during the chase🥹

[;) @superbhaddd]

Kayda on the left

[Busengof😎 @busengof]

KC’s main niche being sports is so satisfying , boy will eat😎

[Squilliam @Squillingson]

@FatKidDeals you got any deals on kindles?

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I mentioned that my garage door was making a sound.

An American immediately said, "I got a guy."

He did not ask what the sound was. He did not ask what kind of door. He produced a guy on the basis of the word garage.

I asked who the guy was.

He said, "Just a guy."

He did not have a company name. He had a first name and a phone number in his phone saved as "Mike Garage."

That is the contact name. Mike Garage. As though Garage is his surname. As though there is a family.

I asked how he found this guy.

"My brother-in-law used him."

I asked if the brother-in-law was satisfied.

He thought about it. Then he said, "He's still standing."

The house is still standing. That is the entire review.

Inside I said: THEY DO NOT KEEP RECORDS. THEY KEEP LOYALTIES.

I called Mike Garage. He answered from inside a vehicle. There was wind. He said he could come Tuesday between eleven and four.

Between eleven and four. A window of five hours. In my country this would be a scandal. Here it is generous. He gave me a window at all. Some guys do not give you a window. Some guys say "Tuesday" and that is the whole appointment.

He came at 1:40.

He fixed it in twenty minutes. He charged me less than I expected and he did not take a card, only cash or an app I had never heard of.

Before leaving he looked at my water heater, which I had not mentioned, and said, "That's gonna go."

I asked when.

"Couple years."

I asked what I should do.

He said, "I'll give you a guy."

He gave me a guy. Mike Garage has a guy. The guy has a guy. There is a network beneath this country made entirely of men named after their function, and none of them advertise, and all of them are busy.

Inside I said: THERE IS A SECOND NATION HERE. IT HAS NO SIGNS. IT IS ENTERED ONLY BY INTRODUCTION.

I have been given four guys since.

I have a guy for trees.

I did not know I needed a guy for trees.

I have trees now, apparently. They are my responsibility. A man named Rick told me so and then left.

[Squilliam @Squillingson]

@Vitaminndeee They still look better than Zion Williamson hoes

[Squilliam @Squillingson]

Been eating lettuce all week so I can call out of work if I get sick but my boss just called on my day off to lmk I’m being let go

[FREE TAXSTONE! @Diamy_TV]

I’m not buying a house from no slut that’s gonna come back and fuck my husband and my dog since she already got the address

[Squilliam @Squillingson]

@Diamy_TV

[magnolia iv @nedstcnnis]

wagwan alaykum

[Squilliam @Squillingson]

@namekoisvnr Two possible interpretations both hilarious: either you’re handing the machine gun to your nephew with Down syndrome or you’re the chimp being handed a dangerous weapon (your nephew with Down syndrome). Hilarious either way

[𝑺𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒏 𝑵𝑴𝑲 🧉 @namekoisvnr]

Ma sœur m’a confié son fils trisomique pour l’après midi

[Squilliam @Squillingson]

@CourtneeHendrix 5k a week, I woulda said “clock it, boo” and went about my business

[Muad’dib @rayleigh225]

Went No fapping for a week just to let out 10 goon sessions on the 8th day

[trollopszn @solracnkoff]

14 seconds into the game and look at the foolishness he’s on😭