kim.kimani

God first 🙏
Arsenal
humour

[Mwangî @archiemwas]

Shut up Sudi, if I wanted to hear from an asshole I would have just farted.

[Flora Limukii @limukii_f]

@Asamoh_ Thanks and congratulations too.

[Rein @Asamoh_]

She finally became pregnant. Congratulations @limukii_f

[Sir-Rap-A-Lot @Osama_otero]

This is my submission.

[Bakhita Esther @bakhita_esther]

Tulisema Hakuna kuruka tweets za mtu , heri u like ukisonga 🫴🏾😁

[Skeka @realskeka]

Tweeps walituma mama Lil Macs aende Juja aconfirm kama ni ukweli uyu jamaa anateseka. Akadinywa siku tatu ata waleo hajawahi peana ripoti 😂.

[Ja Loka @_fels1]

You can deactivate, be private, be mysterious, quit alcohol, work out, eat healthy, pray, be careful, and still FAIL to achieve anything.

[Kinara💲♻️ @kinara_69]

Ndo nimepata my first gig huku ocha ya kupeleka wamama wa kanisa mazishi flani hapo kesho,,Hope appetite yangu isiniangushe bana😂Nitakula kaa bladifakin😂💀

[kim.kimani @srkimani]

@_akiwewe 😂😂

[Kagiaᵀᴹ @_akiwewe]

"Enda ukuje na uyo mtu ulifanya na yeye kitendo siezi tibu ugonjwa nusu"

[kim.kimani @srkimani]

@graduate_niggah naishaa😂😂

[Unemployed Graduate @graduate_niggah]

Wueh wakenya ukifuata huyu ni kips alikuwa area of work 😂

[Bandit @mts__kid]

What do we have here?

[Kijana ya PresidenT™️ @Mirema_world]

"room yangu ni ndogo lakini unaeza kuja tufinyane"

[Fafa Mukuru @osoroKE]

Kupanda ndege na rais alafu anashuka wa kwanza anaenda kumngoja afike alafu anashtuka kumuona anamkaribisha huko.

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

In front of you is Muraya Mwangi from Murang'a, currently serving as a band-1 student at the Great Kalahari Desert University of Science & Technology (K-DUST) where he's pursuing a bachelor's degree in Dust Mitigation with Advanced IT. Remember, May intake is still ongoing.

Anyway, Our boy logged into his social media accounts breathing fire and emitting smoke after allegedly discovering that his beloved wife had been receiving high-voltage electricity from none other than Murang'a Senator Joe Nyutu.

The transformer apparently overloaded, and Muraya's emotional power grid has since collapsed. Armed with screenshots extracted from his wife's phone like a seasoned DCI sleuth, Muraya declared that he would not sit back and watch his marriage perform a disappearing act like free Wi-Fi.

The devastated gentleman narrated how he had bent over backwards, sideways, and even diagonally to provide for his family. The man travelled abroad and engaged in hardcore labour so that Madam could enjoy a soft life complete with peace, comfort, and unlimited data bundles.

To crown it all, he organized a colourful wedding so grand that village haters developed temporary hypertension from jealousy. Unfortunately, as has happened to many graduates of K-DUST, Muraya has discovered that life occasionally marks their exams using a different marking scheme. The man invested in loyalty, but fate apparently decided to diversify the portfolio.

As we speak, Muraya is reportedly struggling to breathe properly after receiving a heartbreak powerful enough to qualify as a natural disaster. Neighbours claim the man stares at his phone while listening to Mike Rua’s songs and questioning every life decision he has ever made.

Doctors have confirmed that Mareej is a very serious condition. Symptoms include random sighing, staring at walls, checking old photos, loss of appetite, and suddenly becoming a relationship expert on X, TikTok & Facebook.

Muraya's village haters who attended the wedding only for the food & gossip have reportedly called for an emergency meeting to celebrate what they are describing as an unexpected but welcome development.

We wish our brother a quick recovery as he navigates these difficult streets of character development. May he find peace, healing, and a phone password he never feels compelled to investigate again. Kama kawa sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu.👀

[Chep @its_chep_]

Ushawahi ona number 1 akisomea exams? 🤣🤣

[Kinara💲♻️ @kinara_69]

Jobless mfs kando ya barabara huko ocha😂:

[Donna Mugoh @Eddie_Mugoh]

"Leo nitachelewa kidogo, enda unipigie bibi."

[René @rene_bell3]

A nigga proposed to my friend. few months later the ring ikapotea, the guy was so angry because she lost the ring aka breakup with her. Last weekend the guy posted his new fiance with the same ring. Niliisha niaje