Samantha Shoemaker

ethan & elsa

[NowThis Impact @nowthisimpact]

‘I want to make sure our administration reflects the true genius and diversity of this country.’ — @BetoORourke explains why he changed his mind on guns, his universal health care plan, and his worst habit

[Samantha Shoemaker @ssamsamm]

@ziggzackk Loser

[Paige Faulkner @faulkner_paige]

Me: hi

Boy: I don’t know I’m just really scared of relationships cause my ex girlfriend was psycho and I really don’t wanna put myself in that situation again but you’re so great come over watch tv

[Samantha Shoemaker @ssamsamm]

@TherealDBose Probably both.

[Samantha Shoemaker @ssamsamm]

Perspective is key 🔑👌🏼

[Samantha Shoemaker @ssamsamm]

What do people who don't have kids or animals even social media about?

[Samantha Shoemaker @ssamsamm]

Be good to yourself.

[Samantha Shoemaker @ssamsamm]

Set good intentions and I swear the good will come your way. I'm always amazed by how the universe works things out.

[Samantha Shoemaker @ssamsamm]

Separation of church and state! Please please please.

[Samantha Shoemaker @ssamsamm]

The republicans give me a headache.

[Jamie Grayson @TheJamieGrayson]

Guys. GUYS. you are not running against Obama anymore. #GOPDebate

[Samantha Shoemaker @ssamsamm]

Walked away from my coffee and Elsa proceeded to then take advantage of my absence and chug it 😒 toddlers are a special kind of evil

[Samantha Shoemaker @ssamsamm]

The universe is my religion. The sun is my god

[Samantha Shoemaker @ssamsamm]

I really like watermelon flavored things but. It actual watermelon. Just in case anyone wanted to know.

[Samantha Shoemaker @ssamsamm]

Today has quite possibly been the best day everrr. Aka my kids are asleep before midnight and now I can eat cookies and watch tv alone.

[Samantha Shoemaker @ssamsamm]

Chocolate is my religion 🍫✨

[Samantha Shoemaker @ssamsamm]

I can remember being a child and thinking plain yogurt was the worst thing ever. Currently eating plain yogurt. 😞😞 adult life

[Samantha Shoemaker @ssamsamm]

My brain hurts so much when I try to read anything written by someone who doesn't know how to use punctuation or understand basic grammar 💆🏻

[Samantha Shoemaker @ssamsamm]

Stopped biting my nails. Now that I actually have long nails I'm completely incapable of taking my contacts out. 😒😂

[Samantha Shoemaker @ssamsamm]

My kid just shit in the mulch at the park 😒😑 Why? Why? Why?