Sam

Alright, alright, all rights reserved.

[Sam @sshepp23]

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day.

Teach a man to fish and he'll have a new profile picture of him holding a fish.

[Sam @sshepp23]

Pretty tough day for me. ANOTHER NHL player my age just retired.

[lexiiiiiiiiiiiii @blondspit]

Nobody remembers what your job title is but they will remember how hot your wife is

[Sam @sshepp23]

This idea coming from the schools new principal: Quentin Tarantino

[The Instigator @Am_Blujay]

This school organised a task where parents must identify their kids using their feet in 10 seconds 👌

[Sam @sshepp23]

Islanders definitely trading both those MTL 1st round picks and a prospect to get Hagens, as well.

Heard it here first.

[Sam @sshepp23]

Anyways, stared at a picture of my wife for 23/30mins

[Sam @sshepp23]

Smashing a bowl of butter chicken sauce as if it's tomato soup.
Who's gonna stop me?
YOU? Good luck.

[Ben Boehlert @bhboehlert]

Boyfriends all across this great nation are losing our jobs because of AI

[Sam @sshepp23]

Do you ever do a regular task and think:
"There's no way normal people do it like that." ?

[poppa @popitforpoppa]

“you’re soooo funnyyy”

thanks they used to put my desk in the hallway

[Sam @sshepp23]

Actuallyyyy, I'm pretty sure its spelled 'gaslyghting'.

[Sam @sshepp23]

"Hayley Sheppard sent you a reel from cuumflavoredjuulpod"

[Sam @sshepp23]

@heyzurbrigg

[Sam @sshepp23]

@heyzurbrigg good time to drop a "proud of you" ?

[Sam @sshepp23]

Just so we're clear, in case it becomes 'a thing' later; I invented Beer with 12g of protein in 2011.

[Lucius @LuciusTheSaint]

cigarettes but they have protein in them

[Sam @sshepp23]

Tightening up the spinny locking clasp on my pukashell necklace so that she knows it's go time.

[Sam @sshepp23]

"Why does he keep sending me 9/11 memes?? I was in grade 5."

-My friends that are firefighters

[Sam @sshepp23]

@Andr3jH @heyzurbrigg just so you know this is why I'm coming home upset on Friday

[Sam @sshepp23]

@heyzurbrigg

[Sam @sshepp23]

Never been madder that I didn't come up with a tweet first

[sreeky @sreekyshooter]

in Paris he actually goes by LeLeBron