god of wiping the floor

✨Dead inside✨

[god of wiping the floor @ssodatxt]

@MollieBoss This is the most smoothbrained comment I’ve seen in a while. You’re an embarrassment.

[god of wiping the floor @ssodatxt]

My sister in Christ you have 3 seconds to give me that scrumptious morsel back or you’re off to the guillotine (spoiler alert)

[god of wiping the floor @ssodatxt]

So far in my chemistry classes I have learned that the portrait of Antoine Lavoisier looking like someone swiped a snack he was just about to bite into straight out of his hand is now my favourite painting

[god of wiping the floor @ssodatxt]

My toxic trait is scrambling in Air Force 1’s with my phone on 12% battery but if I didn’t do it I wouldn’t have found any mushrooms or saw this lovely view so 🤷‍♀️

[god of wiping the floor @ssodatxt]

@PuffyDiddly

[god of wiping the floor @ssodatxt]

@darkpaladin111 Absolutely painful!

[koku 🌙 @koku____]

This gotta be the funniest anime ever made 😭

[god of wiping the floor @ssodatxt]

*Everyone in the courtroom wondering what that whistling noise is*

Me in the Jury stand with one working nostril

[god of wiping the floor @ssodatxt]

@t0mthefisherman Thanks! I think 🤣

[god of wiping the floor @ssodatxt]

My alocasia amazonica in literally any conditions

[god of wiping the floor @ssodatxt]

@isopropyloceans Just take him!

[god of wiping the floor @ssodatxt]

@PuffyDiddly aye a huv

[god of wiping the floor @ssodatxt]

Fallen in love with the Scottish Highlands, mainly because of the amazing lichen! (Pics in order Cladonia Fimbriata, Lobaria Pulmonaria, Peltigera Membranacea)

[PokémonHttps @PokemonHttps]

Me going out in public

[god of wiping the floor @ssodatxt]

If a guy says his ex girlfriend is crazy what he really means is he’s still talking to her and liking her Instagram posts

[laicchiato @laicchiato]

tfw no sleep schedule😵‍💫

[god of wiping the floor @ssodatxt]

@thezacharymike Feet pics on main?!

[god of wiping the floor @ssodatxt]

@Harrie__ I like that one. My exact words were please send the physical evidence you have to back up your accusations. She has not replied 🤣

[god of wiping the floor @ssodatxt]

Shout out to my flatmate with 2 law degrees who gave me this power

[god of wiping the floor @ssodatxt]

@Harrie__ This caught me off guard 🤣😭

[god of wiping the floor @ssodatxt]

I can’t sleep at night since an American guest asked me what flavour a gin was and I said rhubarb and he said “what’s a rhubarb?”