🕷️🦓lys 🕸️🪾

I just use twitter to beat my shi 🤤

[Solfie ྀི ꒰ WANO ! ♡ ꒱ @Muu_Kusunoki]

Mom just said "I know everything about you" 😭😭

[! ☆°.•Noah•.°☆ ! #lsptwt @DBandSonicFan]

was beating my dick and heard someone coming to my door

[evil fucking skeleton @chumblings]

lied about everything in a job interview and i start tomorrow

[🇬🇾 @geekedgoob]

Was scrolling through old messages and accidentally called her

[echo! @c0ffinized]

professor said my name in class and ppl started laughing

[Bappa @Bappa_195]

Checking the replies of a Deltarune tweet

[Mari ☆ @lady_stxrdust]

this one is so underrated

[Jem @jaempsy]

Had a research assignment on Alzheimer’s disease and forgot to do it

[♪ @iihandsiiheaven]

her hitting her vape kills meeekddkjdjf

[Noir @BadassNoir]

Funniest human being alive

[pew @PewPhewPhewPeww]

Feet + shoes + ground = welcome to walking brother 💀

[Avani ꨄ︎ @sunavani_foreva]

When no one responds back to your message is a group chat

[Henry @p_hoenixhzero]

Things to say during sex:

Sell me this condom

How much is your pussy worth?

What are your intentions with my foreskin?

[slink @slinkout]

Binged 4 episodes of a show and realized I'm using mobile data

[🕷️🦓lys 🕸️🪾 @st4rw4s]

@p1zzie Dude how the fuck are you not dead

[amagai Jerry istifanus @amagaiJerrbk]

Dude uses his own shit to stop the fight 💩

[沉思的抚摸者 {TPS} ky @joyfulspectre]

“That shit ain’t gonna fly in college”

That shit in college:

[syx @syxsiss]

how long after sex is it okay to say “gg fucking ez”