Smooth-brained Beluga 🐳

armchair alcoholic

[Smooth-brained Beluga 🐳 @st_whaley]

https://t.co/y9FtjJXgqP

[sophie @netcapgirl]

“see i build these dashboards so that our executives can have deeper insight into critical business functions. basically, my job is to turn unstructured data into actionable insights. we call it data science”

[Smooth-brained Beluga 🐳 @st_whaley]

@nateheroldd Read this like the weeknd singing tears in the rain

[Smooth-brained Beluga 🐳 @st_whaley]

@ratp0pe I eventually figured it out, and was upset that my brother wouldn’t chest bump me over my newfound Adult skill :(

[Smooth-brained Beluga 🐳 @st_whaley]

I have a masters degree in engineering from a top 10 and I can’t figure out how to put this duvet cover on the fucking duvet

[Viction Ecosystem @VictionEco]

Viction Edition is now on air🚀

It’s your ticket to a fresh and thrilling journey of #Viction, hop on with us🔥

📅 Nov 14 - Dec 02, 2023
🎁 $6000 in $C98 awaits🚀
💥 Don't miss out! Let’s dive in👇 https://t.co/fLblNdm3Vx

[Laura Wendel @Lauramaywendel]

evolution preparing us for our inevitable return to the sea

[Smooth-brained Beluga 🐳 @st_whaley]

Vacationing to the outhouse to rub elbows with satans kale bc the Taylor swift event my girlfriend brought me to has far too many screaming children

[Melkey @MelkeyDev]

Junior developers asking to help when prod is down

[Durtis Jackson @MeechIsDEAD]

OWN THE DAY

[Reality Designers @realitydesignrs]

@tomshaw_dev |￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|
You need a MacBook
to be a Programmer
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\ (•◡•) /
\ /
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[Smooth-brained Beluga 🐳 @st_whaley]

@nateheroldd Kids as in not adults? Or like only swearing at orphans/old folks w/ deceased parents?

[Smooth-brained Beluga 🐳 @st_whaley]

Risk & French affirmation is the bare minimum before I even THINK about moving my homelab to kubermrtes

[Smooth-brained Beluga 🐳 @st_whaley]

IN HER DEFENSE, the waitress could get it

[Smooth-brained Beluga 🐳 @st_whaley]

At dinner w my boo for our anniversary & she’s over here simping for our waitress…

[Smooth-brained Beluga 🐳 @st_whaley]

the absolute apple of my eye, she of whom could never be spoiled, rotten, or go sour, said that I could not have a “live, laugh, love” sign in any shared dwelling. So I faked my own death (she doesn’t wanna love and doesn’t want me to live), AITA?

[Smooth-brained Beluga 🐳 @st_whaley]

Shot a romantic friend shot w @breanaflaherty and now she reciprocally simps, I welcome any further questions

[chrissy @chrissychlapp]

shooting ur friend shot is so much more embarrassing than shooting ur shot romantically like omg i just wanna be girliesss and hangggg why am i so anxiousssssss

[Smooth-brained Beluga 🐳 @st_whaley]

Fuck you (I am very very very very very jealous)

[JessCapricorn 💫 @JessicaBoddy]

I AM ALONE IN MY ROOM LAUGHING LIKE A SUPERVILLAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Charles Patterson @CharlesPattson]

"Let's cancel the call"

[Smooth-brained Beluga 🐳 @st_whaley]

Me in middle school: god Taylor swift is so lame, her fans are so annoying

Me now: my girlfriend said I could have Taylor swift as my hall pass but only if I let her watch, and it’s my absolute dream