Stabbyfoot Johnson

Stabbyfoot Johnson don't tolerate. And likes daffodils. Infrequent Twitterer. Writer. Comedian. Drinker of cheap dry cava.

[Stabbyfoot Johnson @stabbyfootjohns]

#bestathome #imatwestminster

[Stabbyfoot Johnson @stabbyfootjohns]

@JesusChryslerII Found him. He’s not hiding :-) this was August 20 20 and horrible that it’s still the same and worse.

https://t.co/kBAlxLwFhM

[Stabbyfoot Johnson @stabbyfootjohns]

@YumibabyA Acetamide is used as a plasticizer and an industrial solvent.

[StrictlyRockers 🇺🇦🌻 @christoq]

Surf photographer Dave Nelson got a video of a seal chasing after a ball with his dog on the beach in Santa Cruz.

[Stabbyfoot Johnson @stabbyfootjohns]

@MRZ75901707 @hometheater_z I’m sorry you are Ultra Maya. There is a cure for that… It is called reading. Best wishes.

[Stabbyfoot Johnson @stabbyfootjohns]

@cntraveller We concur!!! Tuesday Feb 8 two American friends reuniting in Paris after 24 years!!!

[Stabbyfoot Johnson @stabbyfootjohns]

@thekellydaniel @hellofromLili Did @hellofromLili fix your problem? They have been unresponsive and unprofessional regarding a fraudulent $75 charge on my account three months ago (!!!) and I am about to close my account and go with someone more reputable for business banking.

[Moshe Kasher @moshekasher]

After a lot of serious consideration regarding the taxation, gas prices and general quality of life in California, I've made the tough decision to move to Austin, TX the weekend of september 22-25th.

[Nathan W Pyle @nathanwpyle]

here is a thread of animations I made for anyone who could use some deep breaths

[Stabbyfoot Johnson @stabbyfootjohns]

@colbertlateshow US’ Bankruptcy Mascot #hewhoshallbenamed

[Stabbyfoot Johnson @stabbyfootjohns]

@GaryGulman “We need to talk,” spoken into a phone to summon someone over is on shaky ground too. On the other hand, “I can’t deal with this right now!” has unprecedented job security. #prettylittleliars

[Stabbyfoot Johnson @stabbyfootjohns]

@JordanDKawchuk @GaryGulman Try saying “All in good time” (my friend) just once. Go ahead, just try it.

[Stabbyfoot Johnson @stabbyfootjohns]

@moshekasher Concerned Moshe, looking like you’re going to scale the capitol. Natasha looks lovely as always. Yin and yang here ... if Yin is a scary militia member and yang is a flower child. 😘 😷

[Stabbyfoot Johnson @stabbyfootjohns]

@hometheater_z https://t.co/X4o2ZzmgXm

[Stabbyfoot Johnson @stabbyfootjohns]

@NurtecODT And by gross I mean unimaginative, betraying their sexual failure. #40-year-oldVirgin #loumouthincelshamer

[Stabbyfoot Johnson @stabbyfootjohns]

@NurtecODT Going to set this here to repost anytime someone tells me some dudes aren’t as gross as they were in the 70s

[Stabbyfoot Johnson @stabbyfootjohns]

@hometheater_z Hahaha I know exactly which humans I need to share this with stat. Not staph.

[Nikki Glaser @NikkiGlaser]

Theee years ago today my dad asked my mom for chapstick and she handed him lipstick. He didn’t know for about 20 mins and was so touched that I suddenly wanted so many father/daughter pictures.

[Stabbyfoot Johnson @stabbyfootjohns]

I'm The Snowflake Now https://t.co/7oM7GayceA via @imgflip