crazy cat lady xo

~ i once spoke to Shia LaBeouf on the phone and told him I love him.. ~

[IceEmpress66 ❄️ @IceEmpress66]

@fwtimini In hindsight, it might’ve served as a reminder to act right, cause somebody could show up at your house and punch you.

[𐌕 🍂 @fwtimini]

The idea of a phone book was actually wild when you think about it. They printed everybody’s full names, phone numbers, and home addresses in one giant book and then just gave it away for free.

[jezz @JezziiB]

Why is it that as a girl at a certain age I’m supposed to quit playing with dolls yet the boys can play video games from birth til death do them part 😮‍💨

I’m getting me a Barbie dream house with my adult money

[mariana Z @mariana057]

Parenting is buying 6 yogurts and watching them all get eaten In one day.

Then buying 12 yogurts and watching them expire because, “Nobody likes yogurt.”

[Gamingtronium @Gamingtronium]

So Macs finally support Windows

[lxy ☆ @organicshorty]

old ppl get they ass up and head to the store early asf in the morning

[Anime Aesthetics @anime_]

Being online in 2026 be like

[Kam ✨ @PatsKam]

To shame a woman, they say she slept with too many men. To shame a man, they say he slept with men. So clearly society decided, sleeping with men is the embarrassing part.

[Megan Thee Lawyer @MeganHarr]

Exchange with a teenage cashier today. Total was $17.15 and I handed him $20.15:
Him: you don’t need the .15 bc the $20 covers it
Me: Yes, but then I can get $3 back
Him: whoa. Wow, you’re thinking ahead. That’s cool. Not many people do that
Me: 😳

[☔ @Whotfismick]

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

If you’re an anxious person, just do everything for fun. Submit documents for fun. Start a blog for fun. Go to a job interview for fun. ANXIETY FEEDS ON IMPORTANCE. Do not make everything a matter of life and deaťh.

[𝕊𝕒𝕞𝕞𝕪 @FromN5_]

“drink water for clear skin” ALL I’M GETTING IS CLEAR PEE

[𐌕 🍂 @fwtimini]

Let's normalize hotel check-ins being at 11am and checkout at 3pm.

[Zabby ♡ @Africanzabby]

if you ever see my nipples through my shirt just know that i know

[afonso @FooDuuu]

americans about to be so confused

[Rata 🌇 @RANK10YGO]

if a website asks me for a verification code and i check my email and it's not in there within 0.1 picosecond of the request i roar and swing my arms madly and start hurting those close to me