Dan Stewart

i was never very good at Bio..

[Dan Stewart @standewart]

Dear @Subway, I don't think your roast beef is supposed to be green. That's nasty bro.

[Dan Stewart @standewart]

I want an iPhone solely for emojis. 👉📱👌

[Dan Stewart @standewart]

I could go for some tea and a massage right now. #whosin?

[Dan Stewart @standewart]

When you realize somebody ate your leftover Pizza Hut <<< #notcoolguys

[Dan Stewart @standewart]

@shitzrnosays literally just found it covered in dust packed away under my cabinet. FB me your number and I'll drop it off tomorrow bud

[Dan Stewart @standewart]

@shitzrnosays was your pokemon gold characters name maryssa?

[Dan Stewart @standewart]

Pinocchio would be such a ladies man

[Dan Stewart @standewart]

Jesus was born in spring and rose in December. Why do we celebrate them backwards? #sillyjesus #gohomeyouredrunk

[Dan Stewart @standewart]

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, oops it's 2pm

[Dan Stewart @standewart]

llama llama cheese cake llama tablet brick potato llama llama llama mushroom llama llama llama #duck

[Dan Stewart @standewart]

I just voted for Jarren Benton for the #XXLFreshmen2014 10 Spot contest at http://t.co/HeWkoOyTiB via @xxl

[UberFacts @UberFacts]

Prescription drugs kill more people in the US every year than cocaine and heroine combined.

[Dan Stewart @standewart]

Why do people hold their phones right infront of their face? Put it in your lap and stop distracting the rest of us. #goddamn

[Dan Stewart @standewart]

@RobbieBirse holy shit I completely forgot about that!

[Dan Stewart @standewart]

I drank tequila and didn't black out! Wooooooo!! #gains

[Dan Stewart @standewart]

People claim to be the best - not the best that they can be

[T @tylerthecreator]

BEING SAD IS NOT TIGHT

[Dan Stewart @standewart]

Oh shit I completely forgot about Twitter! But don't worry everyone, I'm back.