Liam James Callen

I'm a semi-professional stand up dandy, sociable shut-in, and generally optimistic nihilist.

[Liam James Callen @standupdandy]

Just posted a photo https://t.co/2bNN4xYD6q

[Liam James Callen @standupdandy]

Just posted a photo https://t.co/EgnGbF0yiC

[Liam James Callen @standupdandy]

Sex education in high school was often frustratingly cryptic. For heteros, the mechanics of sex were explained with as much detail as an IKEA manual. For gays, the mechanics of sex were explained with as much detail as the Sphinx's riddle.

[Liam James Callen @standupdandy]

They're playing Ghostbusters (1984) at the cinemas. Need to escape reality for a bit? Then why not watch a fantasy about a group of scientists that try to warn the public of a potential world ending event but are sidelined by government officials.

[Liam James Callen @standupdandy]

When I was growing up, arriving to class in your underwear was every students' worst nightmare. Now with online learning it's an absolute power move.

[Liam James Callen @standupdandy]

Cardinal Pell is being released. My God! Australia is having a real hard time containing viruses lately.

[Liam James Callen @standupdandy]

MICF = Melbourne Isolated Coronavirus Festival

[Liam James Callen @standupdandy]

This has to be the most uninspired Star Wars opening crawl yet, fitting.

[Liam James Callen @standupdandy]

Finish my latest poster for a past show soon to be present again: The Unlikely Pairing of Liam & Steve(n).

American Gothic move over. Meet Australian Comic. https://t.co/QQ5XzLme1G

[Liam James Callen @standupdandy]

Cardinal Pell has lost his appeal.

I didn't think it was possible to lose something you never had, but there you go.

[Liam James Callen @standupdandy]

Day 11 and we've finally resorted to cannibalism. Here's the last pic of James Connors before we finished making him into a human sushi roll. https://t.co/2os6gHOhBL

[Liam James Callen @standupdandy]

We've got merch! Not even on tour and I've already sold out. https://t.co/djGJ5NQb9i

[Liam James Callen @standupdandy]

Water slowly dripping into an empty bucket has such a passive aggressive tone. It always sounds like the leak is loudly tutting at me for my failure as a handyman.

[Liam James Callen @standupdandy]

#NewProfilePic

[Liam James Callen @standupdandy]

We're going on tour in rural NSW. Fury Road with jokes, but just as much homoeroticism. https://t.co/fQDY7KdIP0

[Liam James Callen @standupdandy]

The Third Mankey #PokeNoirFilms #DetectivePikachu

[Liam James Callen @standupdandy]

The Big Snorlax #PokeNoirFilms #DetectivePikachu

[Liam James Callen @standupdandy]

The Maltese Fearow #PokeNoirFilms #DetectivePikachu

[Liam James Callen @standupdandy]

I filmed an ad campaign recently. I wasn't paid but I was allowed to take this fez from props home with me. Going forward, I plan to make all my contract payments habadashery based. https://t.co/5uceeuhnMd

[Liam James Callen @standupdandy]

I like my men like I like my mustard: Mild English (Hot English when I'm feeling adventurous).