stanton

everything i say is a joke

[stanton @stantonx07]

My favourite bar is the one that gives away their pool sticks

[stanton @stantonx07]

@quachiemouse “Because of that god-awful performance you displayed Jacobs, you sit in the middle”

[stanton @stantonx07]

If I don’t welcome our new overlord #Elon, am I allowed to stay?

[stanton @stantonx07]

Gonna start writing tweets in my diary

I’ll even mark-in a bunch of likes and retweets as well

[stanton @stantonx07]

Me going to the grocery store:

Oh boy, I hope there’s a photocopied art piece up for auction with a minimum bid of $300 for me to ignore

[stanton @stantonx07]

I never gave out my email to any of the winnipeg candidates, yet there has been only one spamming me daily to vote for them, which I won’t be doing

[stanton @stantonx07]

I’m calling bullshit on my “liked” songs” spotify

[stanton @stantonx07]

“Holy fuck, it’s the fucking Master Sword!” -Link probably

[stanton @stantonx07]

Woke up in the middle to the thought of all the birds who have died since I have been born

[stanton @stantonx07]

Radio stations announcing a new DJ:

“Get ready…(explosions) he’s here (eddie vedder wail) and he’s not gonna take any *beep*!

And it’s just a dude named Greg

[stanton @stantonx07]

@shamyjean Most of them

[stanton @stantonx07]

A horror movie featuring Elvis as the villain, with the tagline “He’s Still in the Building”

[stanton @stantonx07]

My best writing is in a crossword

[stanton @stantonx07]

@yesikandrews I know I do

[stanton @stantonx07]

Me watching the Mole: Jigsaw has to be showing up soon

[stanton @stantonx07]

Me: Google, play Blink-182

Google: Sure, here’s Blink one-hundred and eighty two

Me: Google, stop

[stanton @stantonx07]

My favourite scam emails are the ones where I have ordered everything , everyday, like it’s my job

[stanton @stantonx07]

That Van Gogh was actually AI generated

[stanton @stantonx07]

Get out! Us? Nope…Them

[stanton @stantonx07]

Shit, does that mean there’s a Bad Charlotte?