17 beers deep quietly chain smoking and listening to tunes w my buddy in his hot garage “good hangs” he says “Yep” I reply. a perfect circles passive comes on shuffle he looks back over to me and I’m now suddenly and inexplicably dressed like dark magician from yu gi oh
what the “nonbinary people are all named sock” jokes don’t tell you is that half the time you find out like a year into knowing them that it’s short for Socrates
Beautiful elf girl: you are a loser and smell like shit🧝♀️
Me (a medieval knight): milady . I also listen to Hozier. Underneath this armor I am sensitive white boy
Elf girl: you are sexually undesirable
Me, sadly turning to half orc girl next to me: Doest thou come here often