diana

118.3Ibs ED Twitter

[diana @starvinana]

This fucking ends now. 121.1Ibs this morning. Highest it’s ever been. I am fucking disgusting

[diana @starvinana]

Can’t believe I haven’t lost weight to come on this trip. I look ridiculous

[diana @starvinana]

I’m in Paris and I’ve just showered and caught sight of my own reflection. Now I know why I don’t have mirrors at home 🤢

[diana @starvinana]

I’ve been really good this week, eating under 400cal every single day and I’ve only lost 1Ib 😢

[diana @starvinana]

116.4Ibs today. I’ll be so relieved when I’m back under eight stone 🤢

[diana @starvinana]

I see my partner once every two weeks and whenever we’re together I feel so alone. I know he only visits for sex and I hate him for it. I could not eat for a month and he wouldn’t even notice

[diana @starvinana]

And I felt so out of control as if it wasn’t me who was doing it. I then started eating chocolate spread straight from the jar, and thank god, my body rejected eating anymore and I felt so full and bloated I was forced to stop. I reckon I ate 700 calories roughly

[diana @starvinana]

Had a nap this afternoon and woke up with the urge to binge, I planned out everything I was going to eat and convinced myself it’s good as it gets rid of the food and I won’t be tempted to eat ever again. I ate three yogurts in the space of two minutes, like I was in a trance 1/2

[diana @starvinana]

I’ve always weighed under 110Ibs without even dieting for as long as I can remember and my favourite size to be is 98Ibs. I’m almost confused as to where this weight has come from, but I also have no control over food and basically binge every night

[diana @starvinana]

I weigh the most I ever have (118Ibs). Part of me is disgusted and angry and ashamed. Another part of me asks what is actually wrong with being this size, what can a number even mean and why can’t I be allowed to eat. It’s like I’ve got one foot in recovery and one back in ED

[diana @starvinana]

First thought of the new year is how much do I weigh. I’ve gone from 108 to 110 over two days 🫠

[diana @starvinana]

I’m so hungry but I need to try and lose weight for 1st Jan to somehow redeem myself for the last year of recovery. I need to know how much I weigh to start the year fresh

[diana @starvinana]

108.6Ibs this morning, bmi 20

[diana @starvinana]

He’s also just cooked a large pizza I bought for us to share, he ate half and binned the rest. He didn’t even ask if I want dinner, if I’m hungry, or if I’d like some. I feel so invisible and he makes it seem as if my fasting is normal and accepted

[diana @starvinana]

I’ve spent Christmas with my partner who knows all about my ED, and he hasn’t said one thing about me eating nothing for 4 days. And then I feel as if I can’t let the act go and eat because this is my role now, he never expects me to eat, only cooks for himself and its enabling

[diana @starvinana]

Didn’t eat Christmas dinner at all 😇

[diana @starvinana]

Ending the day on 300 calories and 15000 steps. Still feel so bloated but I’m proud that my Christmas Eve didn’t turn into one big binge

[diana @starvinana]

Ending the day on 600 calories

[diana @starvinana]

200 calories so far today…

[diana @starvinana]

Is it bad that I just want someone to help me? To support, to actually ask questions as if I matter? I feel so alone and ignored and having your ED just completely overlooked and never mentioned invalidates me more

[diana @starvinana]

I’m seeing my partner for three days over Christmas and tried to explain about my anxieties around the food which he just dismissed and changed the topic 🫠
He doesn’t even mention anything when I skip a meal so why would this be any different I guess