maxi pad

they/them // edrtwt // 19

[maxi pad @starving2ash]

Oh my god i want to talk to him, i really miss talking with him, i hate this

[maxi pad @starving2ash]

I want to have that closeness i had before by trying to engage with his life but thats not going to do me any good

[maxi pad @starving2ash]

Rereading stuff, I understand where i went wrong tbh, it was unfair but i cant make it up to him, it wouldnt be fair on anyone
Ive been so upset and hurt at everything, sometimes i can't see where i went wrong til its too late

[maxi pad @starving2ash]

My parents are fighting, i cant tell if its physical, i think it is

[maxi pad @starving2ash]

Idk, this is just stuff i will be working on. Idk how to manage not making my partner into my favourite person without being just emotional distance

[cole @wyacole]

how tf it’s october already?

[maxi pad @starving2ash]

Im ok with the fact that i ruined any chance of getting back together, i dont think id want to go back

[maxi pad @starving2ash]

@the_MattDrew Hello? I wasnt talking about you, now was i? Youre inserting yourself into a conversation that had nothing to do with you? Just bc ur a man doesnt mean i was directing talking about YOU

[maxi pad @starving2ash]

Never compromising my morals ever again for a man

[maxi pad @starving2ash]

Ok i feel #healed not really but im taking time for myself

[maxi pad @starving2ash]

Idk whenever i have a break up, i never go to sh or killing nyself bc thats lame and i feel like im the problem even if the person didnt know

[maxi pad @starving2ash]

Bruh this break up has arguably been the WORST, if one more thing goes wrong i will get a gun

[maxi pad @starving2ash]

Everything thats happened this month cannot get any worse

[maxi pad @starving2ash]

I want to have a conversation with him but i cannot do that to myself, i cannot let him back in

[maxi pad @starving2ash]

I feel really empty tbh, i normally would hang out with him and im just not, i miss it

[maxi pad @starving2ash]

I dont get why people blame otherwise solely, like im aware of how i messed up, thats my part, but remember that you also have part in this.

[maxi pad @starving2ash]

Sorry i dont believe in purity culture! Or think that smoking makes people look cool or something cool to tell people! Or think what u did was ok

[maxi pad @starving2ash]

Idek how to describe how i feel, a lot of hurt and betrayal, like what do u mean u can fuck up and i mean rly fuck up and its just not ok for me 2 have one fuck up🫩

[maxi pad @starving2ash]

Idk i feel like i gave so many chances that broke my trust with him so much and like the one big time that i do, we cant work through it, and like i get why, thats the problem

[maxi pad @starving2ash]

I dont even know if i can be just friends, i loved him a bit too much for that