🦋monarch🦋

MINORS + NON EDTWT DNI
173 cm cw: 101kg gw: 90kg ugw: 53kg
23 y/o, aroace lesbian, she/her, pro recov!
might vent about sh occasionally

[🦋monarch🦋 @starvingmonarch]

had a dream where halo top came out with these like, ice cream bars on a stick (like popsicle but ice cream) and i was so excited

[i contain multitudes @pluralbears]

"cant you just Try to be a single person so i have an easier time interacting with you" that is called Masking and it has done untold damage to my psyche, actually.

[i contain multitudes @pluralbears]

@uNDYlNG_uMBRAGE the "i never notice you switch !!!" pisses me off so bad. Yeah Man. You Wouldn't.

[i contain multitudes @pluralbears]

u can tell someone u have the "im a different person sometimes" disorder and they still lowkey expect u to have a consistent personality

[𝓬 | 𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒘𝒕 @strvngcee]

when everyone on edtwt loses like 20kg every month and i’m over here losing and gaining the same 6kg

[(˃̣̣̥ᯅ˂̣̣̥) @stimabuse]

saying "I'm never eating again" is so easy when u got a stomach full of food well spoiler alert I'm eating again!! 😳😳😂😳☝️☝️☝️☝️😳☝️😳☝️😂😂

[♬⋆.˚ ℰmmi ‎ꫂ᭪݁ @emailsicantlove]

I do not care if what I eat is unhealthy as long as its lowcal

[🦋monarch🦋 @starvingmonarch]

perhaps i get the unagi maki…

[🦋monarch🦋 @starvingmonarch]

the ocean rainbow is so good but it would be so much more cals than the salmon sashimi mix they have :(((

[🦋monarch🦋 @starvingmonarch]

@thintechgodhead oh my god same!!!!

[🦋monarch🦋 @starvingmonarch]

i’m a system, and i specifically am an introject based on a person who traumatized us. i didn’t want to use her name, but i guess i wanted it to be a really vague reference to her. it feels more like me than her at this point though so at least there’s that :)

[lila @tuliepi]

for the edrtwt users that don’t use their own name… how did you choose ur name? i’m curious

[🦋monarch🦋 @starvingmonarch]

the ocean rainbow is so good but it would be so much more cals than the salmon sashimi mix they have :(((

[🦋monarch🦋 @starvingmonarch]

thinking of making my omad sushi and takoyaki today :3 the only thing there that i kinda know the cals on is a salmon sashimi mix and the takoyaki (googled all the cals for everything in it and used the biggest number) but i kinda want one of their special maki rolls….

[🦋monarch🦋 @starvingmonarch]

as a child bullied for being fat when i wasn’t, my mom always dieting and telling me about it, her getting me (a child) to take her BC photo. my relationship with food and my body has always been bad. and i think it always will be

[🦋monarch🦋 @starvingmonarch]

my new therapist asked me when my eating disorder started and i was like,,,, i don’t remember a time i wasn’t at least somewhat disordered

[🦋monarch🦋 @starvingmonarch]

but i have 0 clue how many cals are in them 😭😭😭 ill probably just stick with the salmon stuff

[🦋monarch🦋 @starvingmonarch]

thinking of making my omad sushi and takoyaki today :3 the only thing there that i kinda know the cals on is a salmon sashimi mix and the takoyaki (googled all the cals for everything in it and used the biggest number) but i kinda want one of their special maki rolls….

[🦋monarch🦋 @starvingmonarch]

i didn’t purge at all yesterday!!!!! and i’ve been purging at least once a day for the past while !!!! this is progress!!!!!

[🦋monarch🦋 @starvingmonarch]

she was totally cool with that !!!!! she seems like a great person to talk to

[🦋monarch🦋 @starvingmonarch]

saw a new therapist today and when i told her about my ed (i was completely honest about my restriction and purging habits, which is at least once a day sometimes more for the latter) and she asked if i wanted to go into that and get help and when i said in the future not now,

[taia 🐰 @tulipwaspu]

scale randomly dropping by 1kg only to go back to what it was the next morning