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God’s number one girl

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ummmm why did a glossier employee just give my boyfriend a hand job??? has anyone else experienced this??

[soph @alivegirl001101]

im addicted to screenshotting

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i will fucking find you..

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#NewProfilePic

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whichever one of you hating ass bitches bought this on ebay before i got a chance to better watch out… the world is out to get me and they know how to hit where it hurts (buying my depop likes & ebay watching list)

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saw red rocket last night

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by me

[Norm Macdonald @normmacdonald]

At times, the joy that life attacks me with is unbearable and leads to gasping hysterical laughter. I find myself completely out of control and wonder how could life could surprise me again and again and again, so completely. How could a man be a cynic? It is a sin.

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being single is cheugy 🤮

[Noah Dillon @noah__dillon]

We need to gatekeep 10x harder

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@nodefaultname kinda hot

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i Am the chet hanks of my friends

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jake gyllenhaal did nothing wrong .