emma

[josh @joshypooper]

im so fed up can someone put a blanket over my cage

[miia @miiagarro]

i'm gonna start telling men there's protein in emotional intelligence

[۟ @fendimogul]

corbin must’ve gotten a software update

[pengwynn @pengwyndolin]

you can tell when someone is from pennsylvania because they’ll speak with an accent and cadence you’ve never heard before in your entire life

[tara @proletarat]

People have largely forgotten that the car will slow down if they take their foot off the gas and that it is not always necessary to press the brake repeatedly to do so

[gen @__igennyy]

I thought Ali was going to relapse after Rue died but he actually went Rambo on everyone which I loved

[rhi ☾ 𖦹⭒°｡⋆ @manicswift]

fentanyl does kill. stop taking these pills, stop doing coke. sam levison did a lot of fucked up shit this season but the thing he got right is how fentanyl is taking everyone and everything n he took a major tv show to highlight how bad the problem is getting

[frick @gofrickurself]

Hi and are you mad at me

[Alyssa Vingan @alyssavingan]

Sorry I can't hang out this week I have to rewatch the last two seasons of "Summer House" looking for Clues

[lungs @pleadedguilt]

that walmart ozempic had me laying eggs

[zoë ✨🌙 @zoenone0none]

imagine you work as an icu nurse through covid and you become a reality star and then a man writes a nyt op ed about why he didn’t want to date you and then your best friend dates that man. ciara miller i am contracting an etsy witch on your behalf as we speak

[໊ @wynavira]

“you handled that so well” no i didn’t, my friend listened to me rant about it for 4 months straight

[Zac 🍒 Compact Disc HQ @World0fEcho]

It's the day again

[Rachel Charlton-Dailey @RachelCDailey_]

Regret to announce that we’ve reached Wrong Coat season. Every coat you wear from now til mid April will be The Wrong Coat for the weather

[carl 🥦 @NightlifeMingus]

I’m on that good bread and Kerrygold

[Jared Shult @jared_shult]

I feel safer around an undocumented immigrant than an ICE agent

[Julie @hoolie_r]

The things I want to say I cannot put in writing or on any record.

[alex bronzini-vender @alexbronzini]

This is the glove compartment of the woman whom ICE extrajudicially executed

[Mohamad Safa @mhdksafa]

For the record: cops aren't supposed to kill guilty people either.