Scuba•Steve

Finding onion rings in my fries is my woodstock.

[Scuba•Steve @StcyBnsn]

Fitness level: I just pulled a muscle reaching for the bag of chips.

[Scuba•Steve @StcyBnsn]

@RobinJohnBlake Oh you always knew how to wooooo me! ☺️

[Scuba•Steve @StcyBnsn]

@tessatastic @RobinJohnBlake Been great. Boys are doing great with school, and I've been rockin this shit 💪🏻

[Scuba•Steve @StcyBnsn]

@tessatastic @RobinJohnBlake I've been locked away at the beer store. 😎how is you TESSAMYLOOOOVE

[Scuba•Steve @StcyBnsn]

@RobinJohnBlake Still kicking ass and taking names 🤘🏻I love that you're still thinking of little old me thoooo

[brent @murrman5]

[while being tackled by police dog] what's his name?

[Scuba•Steve @StcyBnsn]

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't stop him from shitting where he drinks..

[Lurkin' Mom @LurkAtHomeMom]

Parenting boys is mostly just saying "I said turn that off. Did you just start a new level? You better not be starting a new level."

[Floyd @dafloydsta]

[job interview]

"Tell me one of your long term goals"

Sleeping

"No, I meant-"

*leans in way too close* My answer isn't going to change

[BadMummy @WineMummy]

Canadian nipples are like regular nipples except they're maple flavoured.

[Scuba•Steve @StcyBnsn]

@littlekitticorn eh! What's up sugar butt? Oh I've been busy wrangling mooses. You know how it is

[Scuba•Steve @StcyBnsn]

@UKCutGuy I'm not sure, I think it's crack though. Chicken crack..

[Scuba•Steve @StcyBnsn]

@UKCutGuy *drools*

[Scuba•Steve @StcyBnsn]

No officer, I haven't been drinking. I work at the beer store & assholes don't know how to finish their beer before bring back their empties

[Scuba•Steve @StcyBnsn]

The best part about working at the beer store has to be all the half drunk creepy old men telling me how pretty I am.
#blessed

[Ally @TragicAllyHere]

If you get nervous about public speaking, just imagine everyone with tiny raccoon hands. Make those tiny creepy hands clap for you.

[Ally @TragicAllyHere]

Don't even talk to me if your t-shirt has less than two wolves on it.

[Scuba•Steve @StcyBnsn]

*watching super girl commercial*

Me- super girl needs to suck more dick.
Husband- fuck yea!

*high fives*

[Scuba•Steve @StcyBnsn]

Mommy, are people scared of sharks because they don't brush their teeth? Let's buy lots of tooth brushes for them. I think they'd like that.