a$ap $teveyyy

ERM lazy rivers Red Lobst biscs 🏓 maple syrup Olympic & TML 🏒 any order. an attempt at balancing #leafsforever “conspiracy” & not-being-horny-on twXtter.

[a$ap $teveyyy @steeLo76]

@MapleLeafs receive:

- Sid
- picks

@penguins receive

- AM34
- 50% salary differential retained by TML for 25/26 & 26/27

fresh start for AM34 in US of A, reunion with KD.
87 gets another two playoff runs.

[a$ap $teveyyy @steeLo76]

@joshbeleaf quote unquote knies stays

[a$ap $teveyyy @steeLo76]

….. said every voter in the history of political voting

[Jayne Zirkle @JayneZirkle]

🚨MUST WATCH: Mamdani voter who attended last night’s protest against the mayor says he regrets his vote.

“At this point, the majority of us are starting to realize it was a lot of smoke and mirrors.”

[a$ap $teveyyy @steeLo76]

effffffyess

[internet hall of fame @InternetH0F]

Tim Sparks has purchased 80 pizza huts and is bringing back their iconic looks and nostalgic feel

The salad bar, Pac-Man, the OG red cups, family booths, the lighting, and more will all make a return

"I want to rebuild places for families to connect and put their phones down"

[a$ap $teveyyy @steeLo76]

@bronzeageshawty you’re 3 but yes

[a$ap $teveyyy @steeLo76]

@willynylly would be babcock 2.0
maybe less cellphone perusal

[Matthew Zeitlin @MattZeitlin]

Politicians and journalists massively overindex the importance of air travel to American life

[a$ap $teveyyy @steeLo76]

@MsRebeccaBlack *who

[Liam Blutman @Blutman27]

Poor Jon Cooper

[LindyMan @PaulSkallas]

Remember the Roman army rule: action removes fear.

[a$ap $teveyyy @steeLo76]

the @EdmontonOilers 2nd INT radio show very “99% chance fatal” vibey

[Montreal Expos @Montreal_Expos]

Pedro Martinez just dropped this 🔥 photo of the 1994 squad hanging out over Expos Fest weekend, showing love for Felipe Alou

[a$ap $teveyyy @steeLo76]

@EddieBarstool @JeffDLowe @martymush @TheClemReport to Alcatraz: @martymush

[poof @poof_eth]

Had a Jane Street interview in 2013 that still bothers me.

It was my 6th round. Final interview. The guy walks in carrying no laptop, no notebook, just a cold brew and what I later realized was a single IKEA tea candle.

He writes on the whiteboard:

food: $200
rent: $800
utilities: $150
candles: $3,600
family: dying

Then he turns around and says, “Optimize.”
I laughed because I thought it was a culture-fit bit. He did not laugh.
So I said, “Well, obviously you spend less on candles.”
He says, “Assume candles are non-discretionary.”
Okay.

I start building a model. Basic constraint satisfaction. Family survival as a soft penalty. Candles as a state variable. Maybe there’s an arbitrage where you buy wholesale paraffin and convert the $3,600 line item into inventory.

He stops me.

“You’re thinking like a consultant.”

That’s when I knew I was in trouble.

He says, “Give me a bid-ask on family dying.”

I say, “What?”

He says, “You’re long candles, short family. Where do you make markets?”

I try to recover. I say the real issue is liquidity: rent and utilities are fixed, food is elastic, candles are emotionally inelastic. Therefore the optimal strategy is to securitize future candle enjoyment and borrow against it.

He nods for the first time.

Then he asks, “What time do you sell the candles?”

I say, “Whenever the market is liquid?”

He says, “Be more specific.”

I say, “Uh… 10 a.m. Eastern?”

For the first time, he smiles.

He goes, “Every day?”

I say, “Every day.”

He says, “In size?”

I say, “In size.”

He says, “And what do we call that?”

I say, “Market manipulation?”

The room gets very quiet.

He looks disappointed and writes something down.

“No. We call it providing liquidity to candle ETFs during the U.S. cash open.”

I try to save it. “Right. Of course. The family isn’t dying because we underfunded them. They’re just experiencing temporary price discovery.”

He nods again.

Then he points back at the board.

I had missed it. The utility bill was $150, but candles provide light. You can zero out utilities.

I update the budget:

food: $200
rent: $800
utilities: $0
candles: $3,750
family: still dying, but now in a more capital-efficient way

He says, “How confident are you?”

I say, “0.95.”

He smiles and circles candles.

“0.95 huh?”

Then he asks me to estimate how many leveraged longs get liquidated if we dump $3,750 of candles at 10:00:01 every morning for 90 consecutive trading days.
Needless to say I did not get the offer.

[C O U R T N E Y @icourtneycries]

oh my god he’s going to kill sidney crosby

[a$ap $teveyyy @steeLo76]

@LetsTalkLJ49 can’t beat a team for 10 yrs in playoffs but need to lose a reg szn tank game …. #LeafsForever

[Tom Green @tomgreenlive]

If you’re worried about everything going on in the world put the phone down and go for a walk in nature.

[a$ap $teveyyy @steeLo76]

@carolinebano read this as just giving a little head fwiw
good luck?

[a$ap $teveyyy @steeLo76]

@EddieBarstool MP went & got too roided out 😢

[y - ShadyNasty @_ShaneCahill_]

Just saw a dude light a cig in the 300s at the Sabres game

BUFFALO HOCKEY IS BACK

[a$ap $teveyyy @steeLo76]

@Mainely_Leafs PREDS! Ufko goal -
recently called up from Milwaukee - was sick.

https://t.co/Ekz706pwpI