Kelly Owens

“Donkeys don’t eat chicken tenders!“ -Eli Manning

[Kelly Owens @stellarkellster]

@VincentGat I knew it was Jeremy Allen White but all I could hear was David Harbour ☹️

[Kelly Owens @stellarkellster]

@meowingabyss I had a friend who had their first recently, another dad in our group assured him dropping the baby a few times was inevitable 😮

[Kelly Owens @stellarkellster]

Who cares about a golden calf, look at our full-on life sized golden horses …

[Anna Kramer @anna_c_kramer]

I broke the story earlier this year that this project was going to cost 5 million taxpayer dollars. Those horses are covered in what experts described to me as an unusually thick layer of 23.75 karat gold.
https://t.co/iCgnL1sFon

[Kelly Owens @stellarkellster]

@ariannahuff @billmaher @netflix Arianna consider your audience

[Kelly Owens @stellarkellster]

@FkMySmPnsLife *Ladysmith Black Mambazo

[Kelly Owens @stellarkellster]

@FkMySmPnsLife He truly found his Lady Blacksmith Mombazo, a modern Simon/Yancovic hybrid !!!!

[Devin Nunes' Cattle Dog 🇺🇦 🇪🇺🇺🇸🇨🇦 🇦🇺 @Kaos_Vs_Control]

Meet Bruce Taylor, of Taylor Farms. This man makes huge contributions to Trump so his lettuce is never inspected. So far, this man has given us E. coli, and cyclospora.

He does NOT allow his lettuce pickers to take bathroom breaks.

Kroger brand lettuce is actually Taylor’s.

[Kelly Owens @stellarkellster]

Im so serious replace every contact sport with these lil guys. Dress them up paint them colors whatever. Program them to do the sport appropriate moves and let ‘em free. Modern Gladiators, no CTE

[el.cine @EHuanglu]

china’s URKL robot fight is absolute cinema

a robot got its head kicked off.. and kept fighting like it was completely normal 🤣

[Bite-Sized Nostalgia @landofthe80s]

Don't You Forget About Me...🎶

[Kelly Owens @stellarkellster]

@L0lligagger THIS IS A RECESSION INDICATOR

[Kelly Owens @stellarkellster]

I just saw someone’s take on the NY trash can lady being fired. While I appreciate we are overexposed to public humiliation in the digital age, she publicly made a terrible choice??? I don’t see the issue. I do see the braids 👀

[Beau Sorensen 🇺🇦 @sorrogrande]

You’d think this is a joke. It is not.

[Darryl, Socrates Friend @HoodCertified]

Same team, same season btw

[melissa @melinskers]

1 calorie per spray

[Kelly Owens @stellarkellster]

@JesseFFerguson From the team that you predatory student loans, now proudly offering predatory loans YOUR LIFE WILL LITERALLY DEPEND ON.

[Baby Jane Doe @mycolefillups]

Okay so where’s my next comfort show with an emotionally unavailable blonde who likes to drink who finds her soulmate in a gentler more conscientious goofball???
And also there’s a lot of gay shit.

[FactPost @factpostnews]

Half the cost of Trump's Reflecting Pool renovations is being paid for by National Park entrance fees, money that was previously used for park maintenance and preservation.

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

Ken Paxton offered a man 1 day in jail for raping a little boy. Today Texas Republicans made him the GOP nominee for US Senate. The Republican Party protects people who rape kids.

[Kelly Owens @stellarkellster]

This photo (and learning it was real) ruined my day ☹️

[Howard Mortman @HowardMortman]

White House prepares for UFC

[Micah Erfan @micah_erfan]

This insanely expensive stunt was brought to you by the same people who cut Medicaid because “we don't have the money.”