SteLyons

Comedian Akl/Chi. Creator of Paper Goat, co-host of @illbebackpod & The Dice Show Nz. TV writer, warm up for 7 Days & The Project. Big hugs 😍

[SteLyons @stelyons]

Two questions:
1) Do you like suspense?

[SteLyons @stelyons]

I used to love tweeting and interacting with people on this platform. Even before it got musky I had dropped off from the interacting side of it. At some point I think I lost the understanding of how to interact with people, sorry that might be a broader note.

[SteLyons @stelyons]

I take drugs every day to help my brain work more like normal people's brains, I don't like it but it is required to exist with normal people. #ADHD

[SteLyons @stelyons]

What I'm saying is my bus never showed up.

[SteLyons @stelyons]

Catching a bus in Auckland is like having an Auckland coffee catch up - just because one is scheduled doesnt mean it's happening.

[SteLyons @stelyons]

So, umm, Dame Edna passing was the reason Australia rewrote their Nz immigration rules?!
Stuff's cartoons are delightful abstract and specific all at once.

[SteLyons @stelyons]

If this wasn't a glitch I'd be giving #MarvelSnap full points for meta joy.

[SteLyons @stelyons]

Bed Bath & Beyond has filed for bankruptcy - has found buyers for the Bed and Bath section but the rest is Beyojd saving.

[SteLyons @stelyons]

@TJMannixNYC Only if you can fix our massive inequality issues that keep driving up crime and human suffering... or if you want to give me a hug. I want both things but understand its a lot to ask for.

[SteLyons @stelyons]

I lived in Chicago 7 years, talked to the police once. I've lived in Auckland 7 years and: Car stolen x2, house broken into, car hit & run, and a bunch of shitty small stuff too.
People are hurting, then hurting other people and I really don't know how it gets fixed.

[SteLyons @stelyons]

I love the level of CBF capitalism Auckland housing has gotten to. When you know people need something you can treat them however you want.

[SteLyons @stelyons]

As if my tweets haven't conveyed this - I am old now.

[SteLyons @stelyons]

A nice pair of jeans, that's the best butt housing if you ask me.

[SteLyons @stelyons]

I should be so happy with my life right now, work is happening, goals are becoming milestones and it's the first time in a long while I'm looking up toward the future. But housing.

[SteLyons @stelyons]

A guy I know tried to launch the world's biggest rocket on #420day. It went up in smoke and didn't even get as high as he wanted.

[SteLyons @stelyons]

In New Zealand I celebrate 4/20 on 4/21 because that's the timezone progressive enough to legalized it.

[SteLyons @stelyons]

So @RNZ requires a disclaimer that they are partially funded by the government but 1 News is out here like:

[SteLyons @stelyons]

Oh yeah, well I WON'T believe it's not butter.

[SteLyons @stelyons]

@robscurantist We do, but we call it KFC.

[SteLyons @stelyons]

My friends are getting married, getting houses, getting kids. I'm getting reflux.

[SteLyons @stelyons]

B2B is when one persons business touches another persons business.
#MakeCapitalismSexy