stephyyyy

dfw lash tech: @ ojitoslindosbystephie on ig 🫧

[jor @wombpatrol]

i understand preventing theft but we gotta unlock the deodorant aisle we gotta let people steal that shit during summer as a public good

[tasha @natashaunlocked]

no one is less suicidal than a guy who just told you he’ll kill himself if you leave him

[scumxog @xoghostpilled]

how to teach my cat his home address

[JD Flynn @jdflynn]

buddy, I was writing 10 page papers without having read the book.

[Lyn🦋 @_ayandamay]

Yesterday I saw a bird with a worm at 4pm. Don’t ever let anyone tell you you have to get up early...

[masha @masha_slp]

I genuinely believe I’ve made God laugh at least once

[Lisa @lisathebeauty1]

Adults having breakfast at a friend's apartment before heading off to work is the biggest lie television ever told me.

[Jum @JesterJum]

"YoU aReN't AlWaYs GoNnA hAvE a CaLcUlAtOr In YoUr PoCkEt"

-Lying ass 90s teachers

[masha @masha_slp]

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit

[miia @miiagarro]

my husband better cry at our wedding or his side of the family is not eating

[DammyAyo💕 @dartgurlie]

me ready to crash out because i can still feel the oil on the plastic container after the 5th wash:

[🧸 @_y3maya]

*i’m not picky*

me after seeing the menu

[ali @probablyalissa]

Hi please don’t vape around my baby. We’re raising him exclusively on Marlboro reds.

[Eva. @Bunny_ngl]

Stop leaving y'all kids around them extra old folks. I asked my lil nephew how old he was turning, he said... “If the LORD see fit, 6 in May.”

[hera @shiningdaisies]

i love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

People singing happy birthday to you feels like a real life unskippable ad

[staxxx🦅 @papiwontmiss]

I couldn’t decide if I wanted bangs or not so I cut bangs for my daughter and she looks awful. Dodged a bullet there.

[propaganda p @PerlaInDigital]

imagine

[Luciérnaga. @velocirrelucius]

I have never had an abortion and I will die defending all those women who want one. It's called solidarity and empathy.