Stephanie Stevens

Chronicling life's misadventures and embarrassing moments.

[Stephanie Stevens @steponmegently]

@erynsierra06 Any chance you have the Apple one? Lookin to make some fall decorations!

[Stephanie Stevens @steponmegently]

@CD929Morning @CD929fm My kids have spent their whole lives listening to you in the morning. We are gutted. Thank you for all the laughs, keeping us in good company, and for the stellar music education! You are so appreciated.

[Stephanie Stevens @steponmegently]

8 year-old (sees toddler with a leash): We could get one those for Ben (11)!
Me: Why do you think he’d be okay with that?
8 year-old: (sighs) Okay, *I* would like one. I think it’s cool.

[Stephanie Stevens @steponmegently]

Me: What’s up for you this week? Any projects/tests, etc?
11 year-old: I dunno. Nobody tells me anything. 🤷‍♀️

[Stephanie Stevens @steponmegently]

Anonymous 8 year old playing with his cars, who are talking to each other: “That’s such a smart idea, Deborah.”

[Stephanie Stevens @steponmegently]

Me: (tickling 8 year old) Stop! Not my ‘knee armpit!’

[Stephanie Stevens @steponmegently]

“So, you wanna hear all the bad words I know?” - 8 year old

[Stephanie Stevens @steponmegently]

Anonymous 8 year old calling grandparent: “Guess what? I have ADHD. Goodbye. Merry Christmas.”

[Stephanie Stevens @steponmegently]

“Don’t laugh! Farts are good for you. Did you know that???” -Tom, age 7 #parenting

[Stephanie Stevens @steponmegently]

“I don’t like it when you laugh at me when I lie!” - Tom, 7 😫

[Stephanie Stevens @steponmegently]

Tom: Mom! Ben farted!
Ben: And I’M PROUD!

[Stephanie Stevens @steponmegently]

Me (to Tom): Do you think you’ll get married one day?
Tom: Yeah! How about you?

[Stephanie Stevens @steponmegently]

Husband: What happens when you rap battle?
Tom, 7: I’ve never lost.

[Stephanie Stevens @steponmegently]

Tom: Today I learned if you go to the school nurse twice for the same thing…you get to go home! 🙌
Me: 😑

[Stephanie Stevens @steponmegently]

Overheard in the next room: “I’m sorry! You can hurt me for free! Don’t tell Mom. 😰 Do you want a hug? Do you want me to hurt myself? DON’T TELL MOM!” #boymom 🙄

[Stephanie Stevens @steponmegently]

“I have another poop, but I’m not going to release it yet. I didn’t eat, too, because I didn’t want to make the poop stronger.” - name redacted to protect the constipated.

[Stephanie Stevens @steponmegently]

Tom: “Hold on, I need to unwedgie myself. Mom, am I the gassiest joker ever?”

[Stephanie Stevens @steponmegently]

I thought I heard my kid crying upstairs. Turns out he was just practicing his recorder. 🥴 #parenting

[Stephanie Stevens @steponmegently]

My username is “Step on me G” not “Step on Meg.” And if I got a cat, I’d name her “Nutmeg” but insist it’s pronounced “Nut Me G.” #thatisall

[Stephanie Stevens @steponmegently]

“I have the most laughable farts.” - Anonymous 7 year old.