Steven Benaquist

Comedian, writer, SAG-AFTRA actor. Peep @NormalNoon! @TheLastOneManShow @TooManyHitlers. @Danza2pac. Dreamworks' Fishstick & Honeybear. Conan. #BLM 🇺🇦

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

In this ever-changing, quicksand world, don't you owe it to yourself to understand the New Normal?

At noon?

Then check out the #NoonNormal!

Like it, love it, share it, hug it, roll around on it... here's the first one.
https://t.co/LT8HF1s4Wh

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

@daveanthony *just have been.
Also, y’ know… just looking for the lesser of two evils like every good voter!

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

@daveanthony Yeah, but he would have just mean the rapist First Gentleman

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

It’s a rainy New Year’s Eve in L.A. Silver lining: no friggin fireworks!

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

@madman812822576 Downtown Pyongyang

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

“Happy Honda Days”???
Shut up, infidel!
In America we say
“Merry Chryslermas.”

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

Gen Z has its own prime minister!

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

Wanna bet the Rump administration appeals to prevent giving food to the needy?
https://t.co/XkYs7879pr

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

What are the Vegas odds Rump puts tariffs on the UK until Prince Andrew’s title is restored?

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

Sonya Massey.
Say her name.
https://t.co/80xfb21y59

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

Working on a sequel to The Shaggy D.A., “The Brazilian D.A.”

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

@TotallyAllen I saw Kirk butter up a slice.

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

World Series Game 3 lasted just shy of 7 hours, 50k+ in attendance. Based on most recent US mortality rate of .928/1,000 annually, 0.741553 people in that stadium should have died in that time.

That one guy is so lucky it didn’t go another 6 innings.

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

World Series Game 3. 18th inning. If LA runs out of pitchers, they did show Sandy Koufax is in the crowd…

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

@SenWhitehouse @vancesanders 6. The YMCA* (*Youth-Molesting Creep Auditorium)
7. F the 99% Pavilion
8. Lard of the Dance Memorial Ballroom
9. World Liberty Financial Trump Steak/Bible/Sneaker/University/Taj Mahal/NFT Hall, featuring Drake
10. T-Rump-shaker Party Palace: Whites-Only, no Poors

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

Texting with a Canadian pal re: World Series Game 3 in LA
#bluejays #dodgers

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

@krassenstein What a slob

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

21 days of shutdown. The GOP is really determined to make people pay more for healthcare. And for billionaires to get their tax break. #principles

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

@donwinslow @Sec_Noem So that South Park episode was a documentary!

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

Anyone else grind their teeth in agony when you hear the vocal fry VO on those Kindred ads?

[Steven Benaquist @stevebenaquist]

48 should just let that ballroom sit empty with the lights off. Better yet, make it a soup kitchen.