Steve

Spam

[connor @ConnorEatsPants]

birthdays just don’t feel the same without the free flow of maritime trade through the Strait of Hormuz

[𝖓𝖆𝖟 ꒰ঌ ໒꒱ @nazzygirlxx]

you’re on thick ice. i love you

[Mike Beauvais @MikeBeauvais]

The economy’s so bad right now they laid off both girls.

[Doug @DouglasAll]

acabei de ver Odisseia em uma sala comum e digo

[Chuckfug @Chuckfug]

My girl is starting to realize I'm noticably worse at sex after my pet rat died and I stopped wearing a hat all the time

[Qsama bin Johnston @QsamaBJohnston]

Travis Kelce’s wedding vows

[Michael Mathes @MichaelMathes]

“England historically has struggled here in Massachusetts”
— #WorldCup announcer on Fox
👀

[John Wicker Park @phonybone]

It’s anti art when your girlfriend goes to the bathroom during a movie you like and says you don’t have to pause it

[l feII in Dior @LIRIO_AG]

“Ay no, tarjeta gris otra vez”.

[erin ⊹.˚ @_GoldenManiac_]

Having a pokemon bf means you will ask him what he’s doing and he will respond with “thinking about bastiodon rn”

[Antidepressant Content @depressionlesss]

When the night walk is at 7:00, and now it's 7:02.

[Ⓜ️ert @mertcentury]

Women when their 20 bedside cans get knocked over: my cans!

[cory @coolmathgame_]

dentist after examining my teeth: [frowning] i don’t like this [taking his tools out of my mouth] i don’t like teeth anymore

[Fail Father of Four @rulesdisobeyer]

Explaining lettuce to an American:

[𝓐𝔂𝓸✯ @shefwayo]

when someone is laughing & socializing instead of taking their turn at the board game we're playing

[Cuck Liddell @c0ck_l3snar]

I wish more Chinese generals made delicious chicken and rice dishes

[swinky @swinkying]

you’re on Very thick ice with me . i love you

[Jon Bird @2002tacomasr5]

My coworker said I dress like I caught a lizard and I'm waiting for a chance to show it to everyone